


When I Look At You (I’ve Got A Second Chance)

by itsthedetails



Category: CW Network RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-06-18
Updated: 2007-06-18
Packaged: 2017-11-21 22:10:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 26,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/602616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsthedetails/pseuds/itsthedetails
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared and Jensen meet at camp as teenagers, spending one summer together falling in love, but when the summer ends unforeseen events lead them to be separated. Four years later fate reunites them in college. Will all the obstacles in their path keep them from finding love with each other once again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

[ ](http://photobucket.com)

  


Art by [](http://causette.livejournal.com/profile)[**causette**](http://causette.livejournal.com/)  


 

Jared stares out the window of his mother’s minivan, the scenery a blur of color as it speeds past. He’s trying to block out his parents’ happy chatter and concentrate on his sulking, but it isn’t working. He doesn’t want to go to camp, he doesn’t want to leave his friends for the entire summer, he doesn’t want to be in another place where he’s known as Jeff’s _little_ brother.

“Jared—Jared, honey, we’re almost there. Stop moping and look how pretty it is here.”

Jared looks at his mother from his seat in the very back of the minivan. “Maaaaaa, I told you, it’s JT.”

Sherri Padalecki smiles appeasingly at her youngest son. “Okay, _JT_ , stop sulking and move up here so I don’t have to shout.”

Jared rolls his eyes, knowing his mother is only placating him, but he’d rather avoid another argument here in the car. There aren’t many of his belongings in the car, just his backpack and an overly-stuffed duffle bag; everything else was sent in his footlocker last week. Reluctantly, he climbs over the bags and moves to the middle bench seat.

His mother pats him on the knee before twisting back to face the road ahead of them. “You’ll see, JT, you’re gonna love camp. Jeffy, loved coming here when he was your age. He made great friends, just like you will.”

JT continues to stare at his feet, refusing to acknowledge her statement. It’s not that he doesn’t want to go to soccer camp. He loves soccer, but all his friends are going to be back in San Antonio this summer without him. Lisa Wilkins, the girl he’d had a crush on all of last year, finally decided to speak to him the last few weeks of school, just in time for him to tell her he’d be gone the whole summer, hours away in Dallas, to _play soccer._ JT groans at the thought of all he will be missing.

The car slows as they make a turn off the highway and pull into Elite Athletes Sports Camp’s state-of-the-art sports complex. Soccer and lacrosse fields lay to the right, a football stadium to the left, and straight ahead are several large buildings housing basketball courts, tennis courts, an ice rink, an Olympic-sized swimming pool and a weight training facility. Beyond that, there are field hockey fields and baseball and softball diamonds. EASC is _the_ camp to attend if you have any sort of athletic aspirations. Jeff had come here to play football for four years and by the time he was a senior in high school he’d been a star running back. A scout from Notre Dame had even come to see him play.

Jerry Padalecki is so proud, his oldest boy following in his own footsteps, getting a football scholarship to A&M.

JT is supposed to follow in his big brother’s footsteps, except he just isn’t built for football. He is short, much shorter than the rest of his friends and has a lean build. Everyone keeps telling him that he’ll hit his growth spurt and shoot up, but he hasn’t budged a centimeter over five feet four inches yet. He is quick and his diminutive stature helps him dart between the other players, so football is foregone and soccer becomes JT’s sport.

As they pull into busy parking lot, JT looks around at all of the other kids in various states of unloading. He wonders if any of them will become as good of a friend as his best friend back home, Chad. Chad gets to stay home this summer and lounge at the community pool, hang at the mall, go to parties. He sighs again, it just isn’t fair.

A camp counselor greets them enthusiastically before they even get the hatch of the van open. “Hi! I’m Rob, assistant baseball coach. Welcome to EASC, where stars are born. Name?”

JT looks at his father, silently asking him, ‘this is who you expect me to spend my summer with?’ His father shoots him a look that quells any impulse to say something sarcastic. “Jared Padalecki, but call me JT.”

The counselor scans down his clipboard and places a mark on his list. “Okay, you’re in Building C. Dorms are down that path behind the football field. Stop in the lobby to get your room assignment, key and orientation schedule. If you shipped anything in advance, it should be in your room when you get there.”

Mr. Padalecki smiles and shakes Rob’s hand. “Thanks, we know the drill. My older son was here for four years.”

Rob nods, “Oh, then this is old hat for you.” He points to a dirt path. “Just down that way then, I’ll see you at the opening ceremony tonight, JT.”

JT gives a half-assed wave and follows his parents toward the dorms.

His father is going on and on about the weight training facility and how if JT works hard this summer he could easily build a good ten to fifteen pounds of muscle, bulk up a bit. JT tunes him out as he notices a group of girls lounging outside of Building A, they’ve all got field hockey sticks resting across their laps. He smiles at a blond girl with a long ponytail and thinks to himself, maybe camp won’t be _that_ horrible.

The Padalecki’s make their way to Building C, a fairly new three-story dormitory. After a stop in the lobby to get JT’s packet, they trudge up the stairs to the second floor, past other parents lugging boxes and bags and kids dashing by, yelling out to old friends.

When they reach JT’s room, his new roommate, Mark is already there with his parents. Introductions are made: Mark’s from Austin and even though he’s only going to be a sophomore this coming school year, he’s already the varsity goalie on his soccer team. He was in the middle of hanging a poster of the Brazilian national soccer team when they came in, so he climbs back up to stand on his lofted bed while JT opens his footlocker.

He starts unloading shorts, t-shirts and other clothing, when he notices Mark’s got _three_ soccer balls stashed under his bed. He panics for a minute, because he didn’t bring a ball. He thought the camp would provide stuff like that. His parents are shelling out enough money for him to be here, they _better_ have all sorts of equipment. His mother notices him staring, and like all mothers she knows exactly what her son is thinking. Like magic, she pulls a shopping bag from behind her that she’s managed to sneak past JT and hands him a brand new soccer ball.

He looks to his mother, a genuine smile on his face, as he opens the cardboard box and pulls out the shiny new ball. She reaches over and ruffles his newly shorn hair and whispers, “Just give it a try, Jare…JT. And if you really, _really_ hate it after a few weeks, you can come home.”

JT nods his head. He knows his mother would never make him stay if he was truly miserable, but he also knows that he won’t be _miserable_. He just doesn’t want to be separated from his friends for the entire summer.

They unpack the rest of his things, take the tour of all the facilities and meet with the soccer coaches for a brief overview of the program. Finally, just before dinner time, all the parents are required to leave.

His mother gets a little teary, but he hugs her tight and promises to call and write. He gets a slap on the back from his father and some extra cash is discreetly slipped into his hand. He knows his father means well, thinks playing on a sports team is good for a boy; JT just would rather play sports a little closer to home. Before he realizes it, his parents are gone and JT is left in his room with his new roommate. They have their door propped open and are listening to one of Mark’s CDs when a small white rubber ball comes shooting into the room, bouncing off the walls, before rolling to a stop at JT’s feet.

JT and Mark share a puzzled look and before either can move off their beds, a tall boy with sparkling green eyes and freckles dotting his face appears in the doorway. “Sorry, it got away from me.” The boy has a lacrosse stick in his hands, and he flicks one end down and scoops up the ball. He then flips the stick to rest against his shoulder and holds out his hand. “I’m Jensen, your neighbor from across the hall.”

The fair-haired boy has a sweet lilt of an accent and JT instantly wants to be friends with this guy. He slides from his bed and takes Jensen’s outstretched hand. “I’m JT, and this here is Mark.”

They stand awkwardly for a few moments until Jensen gestures around the room. “I’m guessing from all the soccer balls you two are here for tennis camp.”

JT cracks a broad smile, “Yes—yes we use the soccer balls, ‘cause they’re so much easier to hit than those little tennis balls, you know? Makes acing much easier.”

Jensen laughs deep and rich. He plops down on JT’s bed, starts’ flipping through the CDs JT is putting away, and just like that JT has made a new friend. Mark and JT walk to dinner with Jensen and his roommate Danny. Jensen is so easygoing and welcoming that JT doesn’t once think about what he might be missing back home. Jensen includes them with his friends at the Welcome to Camp party. Since this will be Jensen’s third summer at EASC, he knows lots of people.

Jensen points out which counselors are laid back, and which ones to steer clear of. He tells JT how to scam extra dessert from the dining hall and how easy it is to sneak into the girls dorms. While the camp director drones on about rules and regulations, Jensen points to a tall girl with short black hair, Kelly. He tells JT that he and Kelly dated last summer and that ever since he got here this morning she’s been trying to get him alone. Pitching his voice even lower, Jensen tells him how Kelly would blow him in the dugout at the softball field while the rest of their friends were hanging out by the dining hall, looking for a late night snack. With a wicked grin, Jensen says he just might have to let her get him alone tonight.

JT stares across the field at the dark-haired girl. He had no idea that camp would be like this. The brochure talked about training and learning, and Jeff never really mentioned the girls. He always talked about how awesome the weight room was and how much he learned about plays and strategy.

JT smiles back at Jensen, thinking that maybe camp won’t be so bad after all.

***

The next morning, just as JT is finished getting dressed, there is a sharp knock at his door. He opens it to find Jensen grinning brightly. “Come on, we’ve got to get to the dining hall early before the food gets all soggy and gross from sitting under those big heat lights.”

He doesn’t give JT a chance to answer; Jensen just grabs his arm and drags. They join the sea of bodies heading toward the dining hall and are pulled along by the crowd. Over breakfast, JT chats easily, telling Jensen about his family; about how Jeff had come here for football and that his little sister is off at cheerleading camp for the summer. The boys are surprised at how much they have in common, both having an older brother and a younger sister, both middle children.

JT tells Jensen about Chad and Lisa and how they’ll all be starting their freshmen year in the fall. Jensen tells JT he’ll be a junior in the fall. With a teasing glint in his eye he says he is looking forward to lording his upperclassmen status over the freshmen and sophomores. JT is thinking that Jensen is surely older than 16 and that he’s a senior camper taking the newbie under his wing. Their age difference seems glaringly obvious; maybe because at 6’ 1” Jensen is like a giant, towering over JT. However, Jensen hasn’t treated JT like a little kid at all, even though he won’t turn 14 for two more weeks.

After breakfast, Jensen has to run back to the dorm to get his lacrosse stick and other gear, but he tells JT to wait by the flagpole between the soccer and lacrosse fields and they’ll go to lunch together. They part ways and JT happily goes off to his first practice.

***

It is a long morning for JT. They start off with drills, a lot of them. They run and run and run some more. They volley the ball while they run. They practice footwork. They do suicide drills back and forth across the field. Just when JT thinks he can’t take it anymore, the coaches have them break for the morning.

All morning, the coaches watched as they maneuvered the ball, did endurance drills, were asked to block and steal the ball from each other and now they were using those observations to assign all the players to teams. With so many kids and so many different ability levels, it is easier to break them into teams. They’ll work out with their team, scrimmage against the other teams, ending the summer with a playoff tournament. The winning team will get the EASC trophy and bragging rights for the next summer.

Last summer, the Blue Devils won the trophy. But most of the guys on that team had been older campers and many of then had moved on to college. This summer would be a whole new ballgame, with the trophy truly up for grabs. The coaches say the teams are divided up evenly but historically the most “elite” athletes are assigned to certain teams.

JT is sure he’ll be on one of the lower level teams. He is after all only thirteen and he’s never _really_ played organized soccer before. There are kids here that have been playing since they were given their first pair of baby Nikes, so JT’s hope of being on an upper-level team is small. As the group sits listening to the coaches rattle off names, he isn’t surprised to hear the first team is occupied by a roster of fourth-year campers. The second team roster is announced. JT leans back, not really paying attention, figuring his name won’t be called for a while. Halfway through the third team roster, Mark shoves him in the ribs a grin wide on his face and holding up a palm. “Congrats, man!”

JT gives him a perplexed look.

Mark, still grinning, points to the coach. “Dude, he called your name.”

Shock plays across JT’s face. He can’t believe that he’s been placed on one of the higher level teams. He stumbles toward the front, and receives his red pinney. He sits with the red team members; he’s surrounded by guys that are mostly 15 and 16 years old. He hopes he won’t screw up too badly and make these guys hate him.

***

JT stands by the flagpole, still sweaty from the combination of running all morning and the midday heat. He’s glad he decided to buzz his hair before coming to camp. It’s definitely cooler than his normal heavy mop sticking to his neck. Mark rushes by, his green jersey in hand, having been placed on the fourth team roster, and waves before running to catch up to the rest of his team.

He’s not waiting long before Jensen jogs up, eyes flashing brightly. “Hey, sorry I made you wait. I had to stash my gear.”

JT can’t help but smile as Jensen leans over to catch his breath. “It’s cool. I haven’t been waiting long.”

Jensen nods to the jersey in JT’s hands, “So you’re on the red team? What did you guys name yourselves?” Jensen, himself, is holding a gold jersey. The coaches run the same structured program across all the team sports at the camp.

JT fingers the jersey, still in disbelief about the team he’s on. “I don’t really have much say. I got placed on a team with a bunch of older guys. So they picked, and we’re the Red Blaze.”

Jensen knocks into him as they walk, “Older guys? Which ones?”

JT rattles off some of the names he remembers.

“I know Nate and John. They’re really good.” Jensen punches him lightly on the shoulder. “You didn’t tell me you were such a superstar, Shorty.”

JT shrugs his shoulders embarrassed, “I’m really not. I think they just didn’t want it to look like they were putting all the good players on one team and all the inexperienced ones on another.” He pauses and then gives Jensen a good shove. “And don’t call me Shorty. I’m gonna hit my growth spurt any day now.”

Jensen chuckles, “That’s your momma talking. And don’t sell yourself short, they wouldn’t have put you on the team if they didn’t think you could keep up, _Shorty_.” He laughs heartily and takes off running when JT tries to shove him again.

***

JT makes it through the first week, but it feels like every muscle in his body aches. He’s run more in the last five days than he thinks he has in his whole life. He’s lying on his bed Saturday afternoon trying not to move at all, when Jensen appears in his doorway.

He saunters in and plops down on Mark’s bed. “Where’s the roomie?”

JT turns his head ever so carefully. “He went off with his teammates to go swimming and stare at the girls from the tennis team in their bathing suits.”

Jensen’s lying on his back, tossing his lacrosse ball up and down. “You didn’t want to go too?”

JT slowly sits up, feeling the tension in his thighs and calves, and shrugs. “Eh—I didn’t want to intrude on him and his team. He says they’re ‘bonding.’”

Jensen tosses the white rubber ball to JT. “Good—cause you’re coming with me.”

***

JT follows Jensen from the dorms up to the parking lot where a group of campers are milling around a shuttle. The bus runs a loop every hour to the little town up the road until the hour before dinner on the weekends. Jensen says that there is a movie theater, an arcade, an ice cream shop, as well as a bunch of other shops along the town’s main drag.

When they climb out of the bus in town, a group of older campers calls Jensen over. JT recognizes a few of them from his soccer team and waves, shyly. They join the group as they wander down Main Street, popping into the air conditioned stores along the way to cool off. Finally, the group piles into the ice cream parlor at the end of the drag.

They push into a large booth, the cute blond girl JT recognizes from the field hockey team is pressed to his left and Jensen is on his right. They order and chat loud and boisterously, enjoying the day off. The blond girl, Katie, talks animatedly, giggling to the girl sitting opposite them. Jensen keeps nudging JT closer to her and JT keeps pushing back.

Katie’s hand brushes against JT’s leg when her napkin slides off her lap, and it finally hits JT why Jensen is pushing him practically into Katie’s lap. JT can feel a hot flush rise on his cheeks as his gaze slips toward Katie. He drops his eyes quickly when he finds her gaze pinned to him. He can feel Jensen watching; feel his sharp green eyes tracking JT’s every move.

JT breathes out slowly and twists under the table to retrieve Katie’s napkin. He meets her eyes and their fingers brush when he returns it. “I think you dropped this.” Katie smiles brightly at him, her brown eyes shining.

***

During the following week, JT eats all his meals with Jensen, Katie and their friends. He and Jensen still walk to breakfast and lunch together, but after dinner, instead of kicking around his soccer ball or tossing the lacrosse ball, Jensen takes off with Tara, a new camper this year, and JT hangs out with Katie.

They walk in the cool night air, talking about their respective schools and families, but as nice as Katie is, JT already misses hanging out with Jensen.

JT knows Jensen is sneaking into his room past lights out and while Jensen never says anything specific, by the way he wiggles his eyebrows and grins, JT can guess what he’s doing after curfew.

One night on his way to meet Katie in front her dorm, he spots a dim light at the edge of the clearing near one of the baseball diamonds. He detours toward the trees and quietly walks along the edge until he hears a familiar voice. He tries to figure a way to get past them without being noticed when he hears a muffled moan that draws him closer.

He can’t help himself—he peeks around the tree he’s hiding behind to see Jensen and Tara lying on a blanket hidden by a few large trees and bushes. Jensen’s got his hand under Tara’s shirt and they are locked at the lips.

He makes himself as small as possible as they break their kiss and Jensen moans again. JT can see now that Tara’s got Jensen’s jeans open and a hand down the front. JT gasps and finds himself hardening. He leans back against the tree and takes a few deep breaths before backtracking the way he came, circling around the baseball diamond to get to Katie’s dorm.

By the time he meets her he’s calmed down, but he can’t stop picturing Jensen, head thrown back, moonlight highlighting the line of his throat, breathy sounds falling from his lips, pants open. Katie smiles cheerfully at him and takes his hand. JT steers them in the opposite direction he came from and they wind up sitting on the far side of the football stadium. Katie’s chatting happily, but JT is only half paying attention until he realizes he’s imagining what it would be like to have Katie’s hand down _his_ pants. He’s thinking about her small delicate hand, until the hand he’s picturing isn’t so small and delicate anymore. The fantasy turns and JT is picturing Jensen pressed close against him, rough hands pushing at his clothes, pink tongue licking at his throat.

JT jumps at the solid weight of a hand on his arm. Katie is staring at him, concern in her soft brown eyes. “Are you alright? You didn’t answer me and you’re breathing funny.”

JT shifts to hide the bulge in his jeans and tries to think of an explanation. Finally, he realizes he’s staring at Katie’s pink lips. He lifts his eyes to meet hers. “I was thinking of doing this.” He leans in and presses a gentle kiss to her mouth.

Katie’s lips are soft, exactly how he’d imagined they’d be. They explore the kiss, lips moving tentatively, until JT hesitantly swipes his tongue against Katie’s lower lip. He thinks he did something wrong when she pulls away, but when he meets her gaze, she’s smiling. “I’ve been waiting all week for you to do that.” Her smile widens and she leans in again.

JT experimentally swirls his tongue against Katie’s, tasting peppermint ice cream from tonight’s dessert. Carefully, he presses forward so they’re lying in the soft grass. He’s got one hand tangled in her long hair and the other resting softly on her hip. He’s concentrating on how sweet her kiss is when he flashes to Jensen’s mouth, Jensen's body arched in the dimness of the woods. He gasps into Katie’s mouth and jerks forward, pressing his body firmly to hers.

The softness of her body contrasts to his mental image of Jensen’s firm muscles. What’s in his head is warring with what he’s feeling under his fingertips and it gets to be too much. He shouldn’t be thinking about Jensen like this. He shouldn’t be thinking about a _guy_ like this at all. He pulls away from Katie flushed and panting. “I’m—uh—sorry. Maybe we should get back.”

Katie cheeks are stained pink and her eyes are shiny in the moonlight. “Nothing to be sorry about. I like you, JT.” She leans in and gives him a quick brush of lips before jumping up and holding out her hand to help him up. “Maybe tomorrow night, we’ll skip dessert and meet earlier.”

JT nods distractedly, “Yeah, sure, sounds good.”

***

That night, JT lies in darkness, thinking about what happened tonight. He saw his friend with a girl, no big deal. He kissed a cute girl, again no big deal. It is what is going on his head that worries him. He can’t stop picturing Jensen, can’t stop imagining what it would be like to kiss him, to touch him...and the fact that he’s lying in the warmth of his bed with a hard-on like he’s never had before makes his gut twist.

***

He sneaks off to breakfast early the next morning to avoid Jensen. He’s finishing up his waffles when Jensen slides in next to him. “Where were you this morning? I went to your room, but Mark said you’d already left.”

JT stares hard at his plate, mumbling about getting an early start this morning. He shoves the last of his breakfast down and stands before Jensen can speak again.

***

JT manages to avoid Jensen for the rest of the day. He eats with his team and when Jensen looks at him questioningly from across the dining hall, he shrugs his shoulders and turns to talk to Nate about afternoon practice.

It goes on like this for days, with JT always running and avoiding Jensen. He eats breakfast early, eats lunch and dinner with his team, and disappears with Katie after dinner. Every time he sees Jensen, he feels his guilt build. Jensen looks confused and a little sad, but JT pushes it aside because every night this week he’s woken up hard and panting with images of Jensen in his head.

Finally, Jensen corners JT after dinner on Thursday. Pushing him back into his room and slamming the door behind him. “What’s going on, man? You’ve been avoiding me all week.”

JT’s eyes wander the room, looking at everything except Jensen. “Nothing, I’ve just been busy.”

Jensen pushes off from the door, stepping into JT’s space. “Bullshit. You run every time you see me coming. Did I—did I do something? I mean, I thought we’d gotten pretty tight there. I thought we were friends.”

JT tries not to look at Jensen, tries not to hear the tinge of sadness in his voice.

Jensen says his name again, and it’s almost, _almost_ , pleading.

JT finally meets Jensen's stare and he can’t look away. They stand there face to face in silence for a long moment. Then he breaks the stare and steps back. Jensen’s right, they are friends. Whatever this thing is in his head he’ll have to deal with, but he won't give Jensen up either.

He sighs and sits on the bed. “I’m sorry. You didn’t do anything. I’ve just—something’s going on with me and I’m trying to figure it out. I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”

He can feel Jensen’s eyes on him, watching him. He sits next to him on the bed. “Do you—uh, wanna talk about it?” Jensen runs his hand through his hair uncomfortably.

JT smiles and knocks his shoulder into Jensen’s. “No, I’ll figure it out, but thanks.”

They sit in silence for a moment until Jensen grabs his arm. “Come on, the movie tonight is _Rudy_.” Jensen marches ahead singing, “Cheer, cheer for ol’ Notre Dame. Wake up the echoes…”

***

They fall back into their routine of eating together and hanging out after practice. Except now JT finds himself _looking_ at Jensen more; he notices how Jensen curls his lip when he doesn’t like something, how his lacrosse jersey rides up just a little when he runs and how his Adam’s apple bobs lightly when he swallows.

He knows Jensen can feel him staring, he catches the puzzled looks Jensen sends him, but sometimes he also catches Jensen watching _him._ JT notices Jensen staring when he talks to Katie, feels his gaze when he jogs to catch up after morning practice and he begins to wonder if the looking _he’s_ doing is getting to be too obvious.

On Saturday, they skip dinner in the dining hall and go into town for burgers to celebrate JT’s birthday. There are a couple of guys from JT’s soccer team and Jensen’s lacrosse team and few girls they both know. They go to a movie after dinner and between all the joking and talking JT can’t even remember what the movie is about.

Afterwards, Jensen and JT are joking around so much, they miss when the rest of the group runs off to catch the last shuttle back to the camp. When they finally realize they're alone on the street, none of their friends in sight, JT panics a little, but it dissipates immediately when Jensen starts to laugh at him. “The look on your face! Dude, don’t worry. We’ll just walk back. It’ll take like twenty, thirty minutes.”

They begin to walk, in the late evening dusk. The sun is just about set, but the sky is still a deep ruby streaked with plum, and it lights their way enough along the road.

Jensen’s telling him about lacrosse, and how he thinks his team has a pretty good chance of winning the end of summer tournament when JT interrupts him. “I just want to say thanks.”

Jensen looks at him with a quirked eyebrow. “For what?”

JT shrugs and kicks a rock in the road. “For getting everyone together for my birthday, I thought I was gonna hate camp, being away from my friends, but so far this summer has been really great. I can’t believe it’s half over.”

Jensen’s stopped walking and JT stops, turns to see what he’s doing. When he meets Jensen’s stare, they fall into another of the awkward stare-downs they’ve been having all week, except this time it’s not awkward at all.

They both step forward, unconsciously. JT can’t tear his eyes away from Jensen. His green eyes are bright, his golden tan glows in the quickly fading light. JT watches as Jensen instinctively licks his lips, and before he even realizes what he’s doing, JT closes the space between them and is kissing Jensen.

JT expects to be on his ass, expects Jensen to hit him, yell at him, _something._ What he doesn’t expect is Jensen to kiss back. It’s a strange kiss, only touching at the lips, mouths connected, and tongues tasting. Their hands hang free at their sides until JT pulls away.

He quickly steps back, ducking his head, a bright rosy flush rushing over him. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

JT tries to turn to run toward the camp, but Jensen’s hand shoots out and grabs his arm. The touch is almost as electric as the touch of their lips and JT is frozen.

Jensen’s grip is like iron. “Stop, don’t run away and don’t apologize. I’ve wanted to do that since the first day we met. I just didn’t think you were into it. I thought you’d found me out, saw me with Brian, when you started avoiding me.”

JT opens his mouth to question him, but Jensen is leaning in again, closing his lips over JT’s. Jensen pulls JT closer, sliding a hand around his back and slipping his tongue into his mouth.

They stay like that, touching, exploring, until JT can’t breathe. He pulls back panting, but he can’t pry his fingers away from Jensen’s skin. “Whoa, that was amazing.”

A huge grin spreads across Jensen’s face and he cuffs an arm around JT’s neck. “Come on, we need to get back before we miss curfew.”

They walk back, silly grins on both of their faces, knocking into each to keep in contact.

***

JT sleeps in the next morning and when he finally rises Mark is already gone. He lays in bed thinking about the night before. Kissing Jensen had been amazing, but JT doesn’t know what it meant. He likes Jensen, but he also likes Katie. JT has never thought of a guy in that way before. He doesn’t know if this makes him gay or bi or what.

He’s still lounging across his bed thinking about Jensen’s soft lips when there is a quiet knock on the door and Jensen is poking his head into the room. “Hey, can I come in?”

JT sits up and nods, motioning him in. Jensen sits tentatively on the edge of the bed, looking rather unsure of himself. “I guess we should talk about last night.”

JT blushes, still keeping silent.

Jensen runs a hand through his messy morning hair. “Look, I don’t want you to freak out. We—uh—kissed and we didn’t even talk about it.” He shifts nervously, trying to find the right words. “I’m—huh—I’m bi, I guess. I like girls, but I like guys too. I probably should have told you that from the start, but I didn’t know how you would react and then you started acting all weird two days after I’d hooked up with Brian and I thought you knew.” Jensen huffs out, “This is hard.”

JT reaches out and touches Jensen's arm. “I didn’t know, but you could have told me and I wouldn’t have cared. And you don’t need to worry about me freaking out. I’m not—well maybe I am a little, but not because of you. I’ve never—I’ve never kissed a guy before. I’ve never wanted to, but I saw you that night with Tara and couldn’t _stop_ thinking about you.”

Jensen tilts his head to the side. “You saw me with Tara?”

JT blushes deeper, realizing Jensen didn’t know about that. “The night before I started avoiding you, I saw you two out in the woods and after that I couldn’t get you out of my mind. _That_ is why I was avoiding you. I didn’t know what the hell I was feeling.”

He inches closer, curling his fingers around Jensen’s. “I still don’t know what I’m feeling, but I know that I want to kiss you again.”

At that, Jensen looks up from where his gaze had been trained on his hands. JT leans in shyly at first, but then his mouth is covering Jensen’s and he can’t seem to remember what there is to be shy about.

Jensen slips a hand around the back of JT's neck dragging him closer. He groans as Jensen nips at his jaw and sucks lightly at the soft flesh of his throat. Jensen’s pushing JT back and they’re stretched out on his bed chest to chest, hip to hip. Jensen slides his thigh between JT’s legs and he gasps at the feeling of firm muscle pressed against his cock.

JT jerks his hips forward, unable to control his movements, and he feels Jensen’s erection pressing into his hip. He moans knowing that Jensen is hard because of him and his hips jerk once again.

Jensen’s licking down the column of JT’s throat and sucks hard enough to leave a mark in the hollow. JT’s panting from the sensation and his young body is twitching and trembling beyond his control. Jensen drops small kisses across his neck and then bites down on JT’s collarbone. He yelps and comes, grinding up against Jensen’s thigh.

He’s still clutching Jensen’s shoulders and he’s got his face buried in Jensen’s neck. Jensen tries to sit up, but JT grips him tighter unable to pull away to look at him yet. All he wants to do is roll over and hide his face in his pillow.

Jensen strokes at the soft peach fuzz on the back of JT’s head. “Hey—hey, it’s cool. Look, me too.”

JT finally lets Jensen pull back and sees the wet spot on Jensen’s track pants. He grins with flushed cheeks and a happy sigh.

***


	2. Chapter 2

Over the next few days, JT and Jensen spend even more time together. Whenever they’re not in at practice, they are with each other. They eat together and hang out in the evenings together, and when no one is looking, they sneak off together. 

They’ve found a few good hiding places, and if anyone is really paying attention they’d know that Jensen figured out a way around the lock on the storage room in their dorm or that JT learned how to sneak into the coach’s lounge in the weight training facility. 

They don’t always sneak off to make out—sometimes they just talk—but they are always touching, a hand here, a brush of the fingers there. It’s like they are magnetically drawn to each other. 

A few weeks later, they each sneak away from watching television in the dorm lounge to meet. Jensen’s lips are already slick and ruby red from where JT has bitten them. He’s got his hand down Jensen’s pants and he’s licking at Jensen’s throat.

Jensen groans and pulls back. “Stop, stop.”

JT’s eyes are half–lidded and filled with confusion. “What? Did I do something wrong?”

Jensen’s lips twist into a cute little grin. “No—God—no. I just—can I try something?”

JT doesn’t hesitate. “Anything you want—anything.”

Jensen lays JT out on the small padded bench in the storage room. He kisses down his chest, stopping to suck a nipple into his mouth. JT lets out a soft mewling sound and Jensen smiles against his heated skin. He continues lower sucking a sensitive spot just below JT’s ribs and then starts to push at the waistband of JT’s pants.

JT squirms underneath him. He lifts his head and stutters out, “Are you gonna do what I think you’re gonna do?”

Jensen only gifts him with a wicked smile and returns to his task. He pushes JT’s pants and boxers down his hips and off his feet. Before JT has a chance to think Jensen’s got a hand wrapped around JT’s cock. He strokes twice, thumbing at the head and spreading the pre-come. He gives JT one last glance before leaning down to tongue the slit and mouth the head. 

JT keens and thrusts up. Jensen uses his free hand to hold JT’s hip steady as he takes him in. He sucks JT back as deep as he can go and licks at the ridge of the head on the way back up. JT unclenches his eyes to peek down and watch Jensen, but the second he sees hollowed out cheeks and spit slick lips, he’s throwing his head back and moaning.

Jensen smoothes his fingers over JT’s hip, and then slides over to squeeze JT’s balls. JT bucks up, thrusting into Jensen’s mouth, and without much of a warning, is spilling down his throat.

Jensen swallows and pets JT’s hip, calming the aftershocks. Jensen releases JT’s softening cock and watches the last half-hearted jerk as a few beads of come dribble over his fist. JT’s panting and his fists are clenched at his sides. Jensen smoothes a hand over JT’s taut belly and drops a kiss onto the jut of an angular hip bone. “You okay?”

JT opens his eyes and Jensen can see his pupils are blown wide with only a slight ring of hazel showing. “Oh God, I’m better than okay.”

Jensen smiles and scoots up next to JT on the bench. He lets his fingers travel over heated, damp flesh, unable to stop touching JT.

When their bodies sync up and fit together around each other, JT leans in and kisses Jensen, tasting himself on Jensen’s tongue. “Next time, I want to do you.”

Jensen grins, “Anything you want, baby.”

*** 

Even with all the time JT and Jensen spend together, JT still works hard with his team. They’ve begun scrimmages with the other teams, and while JT hasn’t seen as much playing time as some of his teammates, he has made some pretty good plays, even scoring a goal in their most recent game. 

Jensen is thrilled that JT is doing so well and enjoying playing the game. He loves lacrosse and looks forward to practice everyday, and he wants JT to feel the same way about soccer. 

One afternoon, JT’s practice ends a little early so he walks over to the lacrosse field to watch Jensen. It is the perfect afternoon for him to stop to watch because Jensen’s team is scrimmaging against another.

JT can pick Jensen out easily, even with his helmet on and the face mask obstructing JT’s view. He hides behind a few other onlookers and watches. Jensen is amazing. He tears down the field, knocks an opposing team member out of the way, and shoots off toward his goal. JT watches in awe as Jensen dodges other players while almost unconsciously twisting his stick back and forth to keep the ball from falling. He side-steps the last blocker and takes a long lunging step, swinging the stick sharply and shooting the ball straight into the goal. 

JT has to discreetly adjust his shorts, because watching Jensen move so gracefully while his lean muscles stretch as he lunges makes JT’s breath catch in his chest and his dick jump. 

JT’s drawn back in as the game continues in its last minutes, but he can’t tear his eyes from Jensen. Everything about the way he moves and stretches, the way he holds his lacrosse stick firmly, but with a light touch reminds him of the way Jensen touches him. By the time the game ends, JT’s carefully holding his pinny in front of him, hiding the very obvious tent in his mesh shorts. 

As the rest of the onlookers drift away and the players come off the field, Jensen spots JT and a broad smile spreads across his sweaty face. JT returns the smile with a grin of his own, still trying to hold his pinny in front of him and wave at the same time. “Hey.”

Jensen jogs over, carrying his helmet and stick “Hey, back at ya. I didn’t realize you were here. Did you see me score?”

They begin to walk back toward their dorm and JT’s eyes wander over Jensen’s arms and chest, his gaze fuzzy and far away. “Oh I saw.”

Jensen looks at him curiously as his own eyes drift down JT’s body. They light up when he notices JT’s erection. “Oh, did you see something you liked?”

JT flushes deeper and his eyes dance with amusement. “No—I saw something I _really_ like.”

Jensen meets JT’s teasing gaze with one of his own. “Well, we’ll just have to do something about that. He grabs JT’s arm and drags him into their dorm. He glances around, jimmies the door to the storage room and shoves JT in. He presses JT back against the door and closes his mouth harshly over JT’s. 

Jensen’s gear is scattered around their feet and Jensen’s tongue is twisted up with JT’s. They grope under sweaty clothes at damp skin, rubbing frantically against each other. Jensen releases JT’s mouth, licking and sucking over his throat as he starts down to his knees.

When JT realizes what is about to happen, he grabs Jensen's arm tight, stopping his decent. “No, it’s my turn.” JT hefts Jensen back up and flips them around to press him against the door. As he begins to kneel, his hands twitch nervously where they rest on Jensen’s hips. Jensen circles his fingers around JT’s wrists and asks, “Are you sure?”

JT looks up straight into Jensen’s eyes, trying to relay confidence, but the quaver in his voice belies the assurance in his eyes and words. “I want to do this.” 

Jensen tries to stop his decent again, but JT gives Jensen’s hips a squeeze and whispers, “Really. I want to.” He slides down slowly, pushing up Jensen’s jersey to trail kisses down the center cut of his abs. He licks around Jensen’s navel and once he’s on his knees, hooks his fingers into Jensen’s shorts and boxers to shove them down.

Jensen’s cock springs free, hard and dark with blood. JT takes the familiar weight, heavy in his hand, stroking once, then twice, spreading the tiny beads of pre-come leaking at the tip. With his face this close, JT can see that even Jensen’s dick has a sprinkling of dusty freckles over the taut skin. 

JT encircles the base with one hand and steadies the quiver of anxiousness that shudders through him by gently laying his other hand on Jensen’s solid thigh. He tentatively licks up the underside of Jensen’s cock. He can feel Jensen’s eyes watching him carefully to make sure he’s okay with this, but once he’s got the musky taste of Jensen in his mouth, he can’t _not_ do it. He opens wide and takes Jensen in, going down so far that he gives a little jump when Jensen’s cock touches the back of his throat. Despite the groan that pulls from Jensen’s throat, he reaches down to make sure JT is alright, fingers lightly brushing across JT's cheek. JT reaches up to twist his fingers into Jensen’s drawing courage from the touch and takes Jensen in again. 

He starts out slowly, testing depth. As he gets more comfortable, he sucks faster and harder. He uses his tongue and even lightly scrapes his teeth over the head, making Jensen keen. 

JT remembers how Jensen had squeezed his balls when sucking him. So he slides his hand over the soft hair of Jensen’s upper thigh and cups his balls, squeezing them and massaging them with his fingers. 

Jensen moans loudly, his eyelids fluttering and his head rolling back and forth against the door. JT continues to suck, learning what Jensen likes, when a thought pops into his head. It’s something Chad told him about a while back, but he'd never thought of attempting until now. JT can tell Jensen is getting close; his moans cut into gasping breaths as he tries to take in air.

JT rubs his fingers over Jensen’s balls and then slides them back to press against his puckered opening. Jensen gasps and shoots up on his tip toes before settling down and grinding his ass on JT’s fingers. JT presses hesitant circles around the opening, teasing Jensen until his breathing sounds like an asthma attack. As he takes Jensen as deep as he can, he carefully slides one finger up inside of him.

Jensen frantically grabs at JT’s scalp, but there’s nothing there to grab onto and JT keeps sucking until Jensen is spilling into his mouth. He swallows as much as he can, but has to pull off before Jensen’s done, desperate to shove a hand down his own shorts. He comes quickly with a sharp gasp, shooting over his own fist. When he sits back on his heels, JT realizes he’s got Jensen’s come on his lips and chin. He laps it up with his tongue while wiping his own hand on his shorts.

Jensen’s slumps back, the only thing holding him up is the door behind him. He unclenches his fists to find half moons dug into his palms and when he finally can catch his breath he asks, “Where’d you learn to do that?”

JT looks up, eyes beaming with satisfaction and maybe just a little bit of pride. “Hey, just because I’m new to this doesn’t mean I don’t know things.”

Jensen cuffs the back of JT’s neck and pulls him up to his feet to kiss him. “Well I think it’s about time I find out what you know.” He grins wickedly at JT and leans in to kiss him again. 

*** 

The next week is busy for both JT and Jensen as the teams begin to have more scrimmages in preparation for the looming end of summer tournament. The teams begin to gather after dinner in the dimming evening light to practice on their own. This is the reason most of the campers are at this camp after all. They want more than just kicking a ball around in their backyard. They want to excel, they want to dominate their high school teams, and they want to _win_. 

With all the energy pumping, JT begins to really get into the spirit of competition. Both he and Jensen spend time with their respective teams, practicing until their muscles ache and scream in protest. 

JT's roommate Mark has become fiercely competitive and is constantly picking fights with JT over who’s going to win the tournament. On the last night before the two-week tournament officially begins, Mark starts in on how weak the midfield is on JT’s red team. JT counters with comments about the green team’s goalie. They go back and forth, mostly all in good fun, until JT remarks about Mark’s own faults. That is when things get a little out of hand and Mark turns vicious. It becomes instantly obvious that Mark can’t handle being teased and he lashes out, making remarks about JT and Jensen and how they disappear alone together a little too often.

JT stutters and his heart clenches—he didn’t think Mark had noticed. He assumed Mark had been too wrapped up in soccer to notice how often JT went off with Jensen and came back flushed and grinning stupidly.

Finally finding his voice, JT tries to play it cool; fishing to see how much Mark actually knows or thinks he knows. “Hey, just because the only friends you’ve made here are on your team and are required to hang around you; don’t talk shit about my friend.”

Mark rolls his eyes. “Whatever. I’m out of here.” He grabs a few things and heads for the door. “I’m crashing in Teddy’s room.”

Mark storms out of the room, letting the door slam back into the cinderblock wall. JT slumps back onto his bed. It doesn’t seem like Mark really knows anything about him and Jensen. He is just saying shit because he is pissed off, but JT is worried. How many other people have noticed how often he and Jensen sneak off to be alone? Who else has seen Jensen or himself slip out of the storage room sweaty and sated? 

He’s sitting with his head in his hands when Jensen pops his head in the doorway. “What was that all about? Mark just tore down the hall like a bat out of hell.”

JT looks up miserably. “We had a fight.”

Jensen looks back down the hall in the direction Mark must have gone and then back at JT. “You want to talk about it?”

JT motions Jensen to come in. “It started off so stupid. We were just ribbing each about the tournament and who was going beat who, what each others team’s weaknesses were, but then I said something directly about him and he flipped.”

Jensen closes the door over and sits next to JT on his bed. “What did he say to you?”

JT looks into Jensen’s curious eyes. “Then he turned everything around saying shit about how we spend so much time alone together. He said it like he knew what we do, or implied that we were doing something alone that wasn’t just two friends hanging out.”

JT’s gaze drops away, but Jensen grabs his arm. “Is this what you’re upset about? You think he’s going to tell people?”

JT blushes in embarrassment. “No! Yes. I don’t know. Jensen, he was just saying shit to get under my skin. But even though I don’t think he knows anything for real, it _is_ true. What if people found out? Would you be okay with everyone thinking you’re gay?”

Jensen smoothes a thumb over the inside of JT’s wrist. “JT, I am gay and while I don’t advertise it, I’m not ashamed. I’m not ashamed of us.”

The blush staining JT’s cheeks deepens. Jensen tries to get JT to meet his eyes, but he’s studiously staring at the floor. “Are you ashamed of us?”

JT immediately looks up, his eyes flare with resolve. “No! I just—I’ve never even had a girlfriend! I don’t know if I’m ready to announce to everyone that I have a boy…” JT stops abruptly realizing what he was about to say.

Jensen grins brightly. “It’s okay, you can say it.” JT smiles shyly, but doesn’t say anything. “Okay, I’ll say it first. You’re my boyfriend.” 

JT’s face is awash in deep crimson that crawls over his neck and up to the tips of his ears. He lifts his head to look into Jensen eyes and a giant grin spreads across his face, deepening his dimples. “You’re my boyfriend too.”

Having said it out loud unclenches the grip that had been clutching in his chest. He leans forward, locking his lips over Jensen’s. Soon he's pushing Jensen down, licking at Jensen’s mouth, letting his fingers roam up and under the soft cotton of Jensen’s t-shirt.

JT sits astride Jensen’s thighs, pressing their cocks together through thin layers of cotton and mesh. He pulls Jensen’s shirt over his head and kisses down his neck, over his chest, stopping to nibble at his right nipple and then the left. 

They’ve never been in bed before, never had the privacy a bedroom provides, never had the leisure of not worrying if someone would barge in and catch them. It’s freeing and JT sets out to explore every scant inch of Jensen’s body with his tongue. 

Usually, Jensen’s the one that has JT panting and twitching, but now JT’s got Jensen writhing beneath him and moaning like crazy. JT’s got all Jensen’s clothes off and he's playing connect-the-freckles with his tongue, working his way to his prize. He’s gotten used to the feeling of having Jensen’s cock in his mouth. He’s found out what Jensen likes and what makes him come so hard his body arches up, but tonight here in his bed, he wants more.

As he’s sucking and taking Jensen deep into his throat, JT moves his fingers just as he did the first time he did this for Jensen. He slides them first up and down Jensen’s cock getting them slick with his spit, then he squeezes Jensen’s balls making him mewl and beg for more. Finally, he presses back finding Jensen’s puckered opening and begins to work a finger in. Jensen keens and twists, pushing down on JT’s hand. JT leans back, still stroking Jensen’s cock and watches as his one finger, then two, thrust into Jensen’s body.

Lost in a lust induced haze, JT wonders what it would be like to be inside Jensen. Dirty thoughts of what he wants to do to Jensen flow through him, and he doesn’t realize he has spoken aloud until Jensen freezes under him and looks at him with wide eyes. “You serious?”

Despite that his body is screaming ‘Yes! Yes!’ JT flushes and shrugs his shoulders, not entirely sure now that the opportunity is an option.

Jensen shifts as JT’s hands drop away from his body. Jensen sits up legs splayed wide around JT’s body. He cups JT’s face and looks into his eyes. “We’ll get there when we’re ready, okay?” 

JT nods and Jensen dips in for a kiss, wrapping his tongue up in his own taste. Jensen twists his hands in JT’s mesh shorts and pushes them and his boxers over his slim hips. JT kicks them to the floor and settles over Jensen’s body again. Their bodies slide against each other, cocks rubbing, hands grasping. Jensen bites at JT’s neck as their grinding gets frantic and they spill onto their stomachs in a wet, sticky mess.

They lay in JT’s bed sweaty and deprived of breath, unable to move away from each other, soft caresses and barely-there strokes easing them into sleep.

*** 

With the first week of the tournament underway, Mark spends more and more nights away from JT and their room, leaving JT and Jensen free to spend their alone time in JT’s bed rather than the dim storage room or the musty coach’s lounge.

JT’s team has done pretty well so far. They’ve won their first two games, but today brought their first loss. If they lose again, they are out of the tournament. 

Ever since JT got back from the game, he’s been stressing in his room thinking about what he could have done differently. Maybe if he’d moved faster or passed the ball to Nate rather than John, they would have scored that last goal. He’s pacing between the two beds when Jensen knocks at the door, a broad smile on his face. 

JT barely looks up as he continues to go over the game in his head. “Hey.”

Jensen bounds into the room tackling JT to the floor, damp hair matted to his head from his sweaty helmet. “Guess what?”

JT shoves him off. “You’re gross, get off.”

Jensen hesitates for a moment, but then jumps up. “Guess who is undefeated? Boo-ya!”

JT pulls away when Jensen leans toward him for a kiss. 

Jensen stands in limbo half-way to JT’s lips. “What’s your problem?”

JT stalks over and collapses on his bed. “Nothing.”

Jensen tentatively sits next to JT. “Well aren’t you going to congratulate me? I scored the winning goal.”

JT scooches away. “Whatever. Congratulations.”

Jensen stares at JT in confusion. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

JT stares resolutely at his nightstand. “I said I’m fine. I’m just tired, maybe you should go.”

Jensen tries to get a read on what just happened, but JT isn’t giving away anything. He gets up slowly, a hurt look barely hidden on his face. “Yeah, maybe I should.”

JT doesn’t look back as the soft snick signals that the door has closed behind him. He crawls into bed still thinking about the game and trying to push his guilty feelings about Jensen away.

*** 

Sunday passes slowly. JT stays in his room all day thinking about soccer—and Jensen. He knows he has to apologize to him, but he feels stupid for getting upset over a game and then he starts thinking about soccer again.

Finally, he emerges from his room at dinner time. He eats alone and on his way back to his room he sees Jensen at the far end of the hall. Jensen slows obviously waiting for him to catch up. 

JT's lips twitch up into a shy smile, hoping to break the ice. As JT reaches Jensen, he sees a hesitant smile on Jensen’s face. JT opens his door and upon seeing Mark nowhere to be found holds the door open for Jensen to come in.

Before JT can even get the door closed, Jensen is speaking, his twang emphasized in his soft whisper. “I heard about your game. I’m sorry. I was all excited about my game and I didn’t even think about yours.” 

JT cuts Jensen off before he can continue. “Stop, it was my fault. I was pissed that we lost and upset with myself for how I played and I took it out on you. You had every right to be excited that you won. I should be the one apologizing for how I acted.” He reaches for Jensen and pulls him into a soft kiss.

*** 

The red team gets on a roll and wins every game during the week, securing themselves a place in the finals. Surprisingly, the black team, the team everyone thought was going to take the trophy, made some fatal mistakes and lost to the gold team. So JT’s red team will face off with the gold team tomorrow afternoon. 

Neither team is a clear favorite to win. They are pretty evenly matched and it has JT’s stomach in knots with nerves. 

Mark and JT hadn’t been on the best of terms after their argument, but when JT’s team beat Mark’s team in the quarterfinals, Mark took to staying in his teammate Teddy’s room full time. All of Mark's stuff is packed and his parents will be picking him up Friday morning instead of Saturday morning like most of the campers. JT felt bad about Mark, but not too bad, because it leaves his room empty most of the time for him and Jensen.

All Thursday night Jensen had tried to distract JT from his nerves. For some reason JT had gotten it into his head that because he was the youngest on his team and therefore, in his eyes the weakest link, if the team lost it would be his fault. 

JT finally relaxed and the two fell asleep pressed tight against each other in JT’s small twin bed.

*** 

On Friday morning, JT and Jensen awaken early for Jensen’s final game. His team has been undefeated throughout the entire lacrosse tournament and is a shoo-in for the trophy. JT sits in the stands among the other campers, thoroughly distracted from thoughts of his own game because he can’t stop watching his boyfriend. 

Throughout the entire game JT’s eyes never leave Jensen; he watches him shout to his teammates, speed up and down the field and scoop up the ball, passing it to other players and shooting it into the net to score. 

As the seconds tick toward the end of the game, Jensen’s team having crushed the opposition, Jensen and his teammates begin to celebrate. They toss high-fives and slap each other on the back. The head lacrosse coach brings the gleaming trophy out onto the field, Jensen and his teammates crowd around it hoisting it up into the air and cheer. JT can see the biggest grin plastered on Jensen’s face, but he’s not looking up at the sparkling trophy like the rest of his teammates. He’s staring up into the stands eyes locked onto JT, and when JT meets that stare his smile only widens, lighting up the entire field.

*** 

JT races down field, all his energy completely focused on the tall player in a gold pinny directly ahead of him. He’s trying with all his might to catch up, but his short legs just can’t compete. 

The gold player pours on the speed and with a perfected one-two step he kicks the ball straight past the red team’s goalie scoring again and putting the gold team ahead two to one. 

JT rests his hands on his knees, his head bent as he takes a few deep breaths before the ball comes into play again. He’s determined help his team win this tournament. It’s all Nate and John have talked about for weeks, and JT thinks if he can just do _something_ spectacular then everyone, his team, his dad, his brother, _Jensen_ will see more than just a short skinny kid who’s decent at running and okay at soccer. They’ll see a star. Just like the EASC motto claims, a star will be born. 

JT can feel Jensen’s gaze on him. He doesn’t look into the crowd for him. He can’t afford to be distracted, but knowing he’s there, feeling him watching, makes some of the tension in his shoulders subside. 

The game starts up again and both teams are getting run ragged chasing each other up and down the field. For every kick there is a block, for every pass there is an interception, and neither team has been able to score again. 

It’s down to the last two minutes of play and everyone is on edge. The red team’s captain, is nearly red carded and thrown from the game when he tries to argue with the ref. The ball gets thrown back into play and the gold team has possession. They chase the ball down field and luck turns the way of the red team when Kevin intercepts the ball and passes it to JT who passes it to Nate. There are literally seconds left in the game as the play turns back up field and the red team is desperate to get the ball into the goal. 

Nate smoothly gets the ball within goal range and as he pulls back to kick, out of nowhere a gold player comes from the right and blocks the kick moving the ball quickly away from the goal. The last few seconds blink by on the clock and it’s over. The red team has lost. 

JT stares downfield where Nate, as well as other red team members, are standing in shock. They can’t believe they actually lost. _JT_ couldn’t believe they’ve actually lost. Even with all his worrying and all his doubt about his ability, he never thought the team would actually lose. 

In a daze, JT lines up with his teammates to congratulate the other team. On auto-pilot he collects his stuff and begins to walk up the hill toward the dorms. He’s so lost in his thoughts about the game that he had forgotten about Jensen. He’s halfway up the hill when Jensen catches up to him, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. 

Jensen’s emerald eyes are wide with concern. “You okay?” 

JT tries to answer, but his throat is dry and scratchy, so his words are barely audible. He clears his throat and swallows thickly. “Yeah, I just want to be alone.” He hefts his bag higher up on his shoulder. “I’ll see you later?”

Jensen nods and watches him continue his trudge up the hill.

*** 

JT doesn’t go to dinner. He’s lying on his back, staring at the tiles on the ceiling, counting left to right and back again. He’d counted so much on this win to mean something. He imagined it would be a turning point for him, like a rite of passage that would usher him into a world of being seen as his own person. He would no longer be standing in his big brother’s shadow. He could impress his father and escape the look of disappointment he sometimes sees when JT expresses interest in debate team or science club rather than soccer and weight training. 

He’s barely grown half an inch this summer, yet he feels smaller now than when he got here. He sits against the headboard with his knees tucked up under his chin. He feels so small, even when he lays full out on the bed, his feet barely reaching the bottom. When Jensen would lay next to him _his_ feet reached the end. 

He feels stupid for even thinking like this, he didn’t think any of this stuff mattered to him. He is so lost in his thoughts he almost misses hearing the knock at the door. Before he even calls out for whomever to come in, he knows it is Jensen and a smile twitches at his lips. “Come in.”

Jensen’s head pokes around the door and then he falls into the room, a plate piled high with every choice in the dining hall in his hands. “I brought you some food since you didn’t come to dinner.”

JT takes the plate and sets it on the nightstand next to the bed. He picks up a fried chicken leg and bites into it, but puts it back down with out taking a second bite. “Thanks.”

Jensen sits on the bed next to JT, shoving at him until he makes room. “How ya doing?”

JT smiles at the soft concern evident in Jensen’s voice. “I’m good. I just didn’t realize how much I wanted to win that game. I thought…”

Jensen ducks his head to try and catch JT’s eye. “What did you think?”

JT huffs out a breath. “I thought if we won it would make things different. It would make my dad proud of me.”

Jensen’s mouth downturns in a slight frown, “JT, I’m sure he’s proud of you.” Jensen’s voice pitches lower. “I’m proud of you. You worked so hard, you kept up with guys twice your size and you never gave up.”

JT can feel the heat on his cheeks and is positive he’s turning forty different shades of red. He tries to speak, but Jensen’s mouth covers his in a kiss that sucks all the air from his lungs.

JT darts his tongue into Jensen’s mouth tasting chocolate from whatever dessert he ate at dinner. “Mmm, you taste good.”

Jensen has a wicked smirk pulling at his lips as he leans in close and licks a long strip up the column of JT’s neck to just below his ear and sucks an earlobe into his mouth before nipping lightly at it. “I think _you_ taste better.” Jensen dives back down sucking at bits of flesh down the column of JT’s throat.

Jensen presses him into the bed, laying him out beneath him and removing clothing piece by piece. JT winds up spread out naked and gleaming, stretching his short limbs to fill the bed.

Jensen traces his tongue over each newly expose inch of flesh, learning every bit of JT’s body.

By the time Jensen reaches JT’s cock, the younger boy is trembling, his skin flush with heat. He’s moaning Jensen’s name and the desire that drips from the name makes Jensen rock hard. 

JT’s grappling at Jensen’s shorts pushing them down and off to feel the entire length of them pressed skin to skin. 

The more Jensen kisses him, the more he touches him, the more JT wants everything Jensen has to offer.

Jensen’s got one hand wrapped around JT’s cock, thumbing the head and making JT gasp for breath. JT skims his palms over Jensen’s sweat slicked back gripping his hips and urging Jensen’s insistent thrusts against his abdomen. Between breathy gasps he pleads, “Want… want to…”

Jensen lifts his head from resting on JT’s shoulder. “What? What do you want, JT? Anything you want you can have.”

JT mewls at Jensen's words, digging his fingers into Jensen’s hips hard enough to leave bruises. “Want to—want to _fuck_ you.”

Jensen’s breath hitches in his chest and an electric current runs straight down his spine into his balls. “Oh fuck! God yes, JT…want it too.”

They roll and maneuver so JT is kneeling between Jensen’s thighs. He stares down, taking in Jensen’s bright eyes, his glistening torso, and his cock—flush and leaking pre-come. A crimson blush stains his cheeks. “I don’t—I don’t know what to do.”

Jensen takes his hands, making small circles with his thumb in JT’s palm. “Yes, you do. Just like before, start with your fingers.”

JT nods and takes a steadying breath before reaching over to grab the lotion off his nightstand. The color deepens in his cheeks at the loud snap of the cap. He drops the bottle off to the side and slides his slick fingers over Jensen’s balls and back to his puckered opening. He massages around it, carefully easing one finger in, twisting and turning until he can fit in a second. Jensen’s panting and gripping the sheets beneath him, and JT feels a surge of pride to replace his nervousness at being able to make Jensen fall apart like this.

Once he’s added a third finger, he concentrates on finding the place inside Jensen that makes him arch and keen. He’s so focused on what he’s doing, he misses Jensen calling out to him and Jensen has to grab his arm to get his attention. “JT—the big pocket on my shorts—condom’s in my wallet.”

JT hesitates for a moment, but soon is hanging off the bed and groping in Jensen’s pockets. He finds the wallet and the shiny foil packet. His eyes jump from the packet to Jensen, finding his eyes half-lidded, his chest rising and falling in anticipation and his cock curving up to his belly leaking a slick line of pre-come just below his navel. JT has never seen a sexier sight.

He rips open the packet and holds the condom in his fingers. “It’s sticky.”

Jensen’s eyes open slowly, amusement dancing in his green eyes. “It’s lubed.”

JT ducks his head, color swimming down his neck from embarrassment. “Oh.”

Jensen nudges him with his thighs and tells him it’s alright with his warm gaze and a gentle squeeze to his hip. Jensen sits up to calm JT’s trembling fingers and help him roll the condom on. He leans up further and they kiss as JT moves in closer, weight shifting, pushing Jensen back down till his cock presses at Jensen’s opening. 

Jensen moans as JT pushes in enough to get just the head past the tight ring of muscle. They both groan together as JT timidly continues forward, his hips rocking slowly until Jensen grips his ass and jerks him all the way in.

JT moans indecently at the sudden tightness enveloping him and nearly comes from that alone. With tender movements he begins to rock in and out, building his pace until he finds a rhythm. Jensen helps, moving with him, touching and grasping him, silently letting JT know what he likes. 

JT’s thrusting in earnest until he feels Jensen’s urgent erection between them. He falters realizing he’s forgotten about Jensen and almost loses his rhythm, but Jensen can tell immediately what he's thinking even without words. He takes one of JT’s wrists and moves his hand to wrap around his cock. 

JT shifts his weight a little, feeling a burst of pride that he did it without losing his pace and tries to stroke Jensen in time with his thrusts. Jensen’s making keening noises again and JT can’t handle all the sensations shooting through his body. With a high-pitched whine he comes, frantically trying to pull Jensen along with him. 

With one last jerk Jensen spills over JT’s hand, covering their stomachs in sticky white. JT collapses on top of him, tucking his head into the crook of Jensen’s neck, breathing damp and heavy until Jensen rolls him to his side. JT removes the condom, Jensen showing him how to tie it off, and before it even hits the bottom of the trash can, JT is curling into Jensen’s side and drifting off to sleep. 

*** 

Jensen awakes slowly savoring the feel of the small weight tucked in next to him. He rolls to tug JT closer until he realizes how noisy it is in the hall. He sits up quickly, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. JT starts awake at Jensen’s sudden movement. “What time is it?”

They both look at the clock and see the digital number flick from 11:00 to 11:01. Jensen jumps from the bed. “Oh fuck! My parents are gonna be here in half an hour to pick me up.”

JT jumps from the bed, searching for his clothes. “Do you need help? Are you all packed?”

Jensen stops, smiles and kisses JT, morning breath and all. “No, I’m all packed. Even though we live close, my parents hate the hassle of dragging all my stuff back and forth so we always ship everything. I just need to shower and be ready or else I’ll have one long and painfully quiet car ride. My mom hates it if I’m not ready when she gets here.”

JT nods looking at his feet on the cool tile floor. “Okay—so what do we do now?”

Jensen’s looking for his other sneaker, but halts immediately hearing the uncertainty in JT’s voice. “Hey—hey, look at me. This wasn’t just a summer thing, okay? Here.” Jensen grabs a sheet of paper and a pen he finds among JT’s things. “Write down your address and phone number. I’ll call you as soon as I get home and we’ll figure out a way to see each other again.” 

JT writes carefully on the scrap of paper, taking care so that it’ll be legible for Jensen, folds it delicately and hands it to him. 

Jensen kisses him again and runs to the shower with a huge grin on his face. 

*** 

JT and Jensen trade silly grins back and forth across the hall as JT’s parents collect his bags and boxes and Jensen’s parents check to make sure he hasn’t forgotten anything in a drawer. 

Jensen’s got the paper in his hand with JT's address, but when he turns to put it in his backpack he sees his dad has already taken it out to the car. He doesn’t want to lose it so he carefully tucks into one of the small boxes being shipped to his home the next day. He double checks the shipping labels and puts the red sticker on his door signaling to the staff that he’s got luggage to be shipped and runs to catch up to his parents.

*** 

Two weeks later Jensen paces frantically in his living room as his mother talks on the phone with the delivery service. Only half of Jensen’s boxes arrived and after a week of waiting, as the company tried to track the missing boxes, they finally report that they were unable to locate them and offer to reimburse the Ackles’ for the loss. Jensen slides down the wall his head in his hands knowing no amount of money can replace the small slip of paper he tucked away for ‘safe keeping.’

***


	3. Part Three Lies Here

 

_Four Years Later_

“Come on Jared, keep up, man!” Chad calls, jogging through the crowded quad of the University of Texas San Antonio campus. “Look at all these chicks—or dudes in your case. College is going to rock!”

Jared rolls his eyes, but follows Chad through the crowd. Throngs of co-eds mill in the bright sunshine and Jared squints through his long bangs. “Chad, you’re a real charmer.”

“Hey, I call it like I see it and you, my friend, need to lighten up. We’re in college. We’ve got total freedom. You need to live a little!”

Jared stares into the distance, taking in all activity around them. “I live plenty.”

Chad’s eyes are fixed on a blonde in a tiny tank top and an even tinier skirt. “I know you do. That’s why we’re going to be _the_ guys on campus.” The girl smiles coyly as Chad leers at her. “Jared, man, I _love_ college life.”

***

The first week flies by as Jared gets settled into his classes and he and Chad meet people all over campus and in their dorm. They lucked out getting an apartment in University Oaks. Not only do he and Chad each have their own room _and_ bathroom, but the building has a pool around back that is _the_ spot to hang out. UTSA was definitely the right choice, much better than some stuffy Ivy League school with ancient dorm rooms the size of closets.

The first weekend at UTSA, Jared and Chad end up at a party down the hall from their apartment. The room is crowded with people and the alcohol flows like water. It’s loud with pulse pounding music and people talking. Jared’s smiling and his smile just keeps getting wider the more he drinks. Sometime during the night he loses track of Chad, but he’s not concerned with where his roommate is right now. Because at the moment, Jared's talking to a tall brunet that seems just as interested in Jared as he is in him.

Jared and the dark-haired guy, Matt, are hidden in a corner ‘getting to know one another’ when Matt leans in to kiss him. At first it’s just a light brush of lips, but then Jared slips his tongue into Matt’s welcoming mouth. It’s late and the party has quieted. It’s dark and smoky and most of the alcohol has run dry, but Jared’s had plenty, so he doesn’t give much thought to sliding his hands down to give Matt’s ass a squeeze. Matt jumps in surprise, eyes flying wide open. The kiss breaks and Matt thrusts forward in response to Jared’s touch, but Jared’s frozen, staring into Matt’s eyes—his _green_ eyes.

He’s not sure how he missed it earlier, but Matt has green eyes, clear as emeralds. His breath hitches as he pulls away further. He steps out of the far corner they’d been tucked away in, slurring his words exaggeratedly. “Sorry—sorry, I’ve got to go.”

Jared stumbles through the drunken crowd dancing in the middle of the room, past other couples making out on the couch and against the walls. He rushes down the hall and lets himself into his apartment. It’s dark, confirming that Chad is still at the party. Jared leans against the closed door, his head falling back. When he closes his eyes, he sees another set of sparkling green eyes staring back at him. He’s not even aware that he brokenly whispers a name from his past.

***

The next day Jared’s awakened by Chad flinging a pillow at his head. He rolls over in the too-short, standard-issue dorm bed and grimaces at the light filling the room. “Dude, I’m trying to sleep here.”

Chad offers him cereal from the box he’s got in his hands, and when Jared declines, he sticks a hand in himself grabbing a fistful of sugar-coated puffs and shoves it into his mouth. “I saw you bolt last night after spending half the night sucking face with that guy. What was wrong with this one? He seemed to really like you.” Chad manages to leer around a mouth full of cereal. “I mean _really_ like you.”

Jared shoves a hand through his sleep-messy hair. “Nothing’s wrong with him. I just had to get out of there. All the alcohol was getting to me.”

Chad stills. “Jare, you can’t do the same thing you did in high school, find a reason why every guy isn’t him.”

Jared stiffens in his bed and can’t meet Chad’s gaze. “I’m not. It was just the alcohol.”

Chad stares at him, trying see past the wall Jared’s put up. “I’m serious. You got to let go of the past. I know some dude broke your heart; you had a summer fling and never heard from the guy again. It totally sucks, but it was _four_ years ago. New place, new beginning, all that jazz -- you know?”

Jared finally looks up and smiles half-heartedly at his friend. “Yeah, I know. Thanks, man. Now let me up so I can get dressed. We need to hit the food court. I’m starved and cereal just isn’t gonna cut it.”

***

Jared steps out of the BSE building after his afternoon class. He just got out of a long and boring lecture and it’s Friday afternoon. He feels like doing something and since Chad always has _something_ going on, he heads back to Uni Oaks to find him.

Chad’s not in the apartment so Jared dumps his stuff in his bedroom and heads out toward the pool area. He hears Chad before he actually sees him and follows his friend’s voice. Jared finds him in the middle of a group of people, his hat pulled down low and to one side and his arm across the shoulders of a redhead.

Jared laughs at his friend’s bad pick-up lines as he steps closer to the group. Chad sees Jared and stands. “Jared, my man, glad you showed up. I've got some people I want you to meet.” Chad cuffs Jared at the back of the neck and drags his friend over to a table where there is a loud commotion. Chad shoulders his way to the center, where a bald guy has a blond girl thrown over his shoulder and she’s yelping between fits of laughter. The guy finally puts her down and Chad catches his eye.

The group dissipates a bit and Chad reaches to slap the guy a high five. “Mikey—what’s up? I want to introduce you to my roommate. Jared this Mike and—” he looks around until a tall dark-haired guy appears at Mike’s side. “—and Tom. Guys, meet Jared.”

Handshakes and greetings are exchanged as they sit at the table. Tom tosses Jared a soda from the cooler next to them and Mike shoves Chad over to sit next to Jared. “So, Jared, we found your roommate breaking into our apartment the other day to, like, steal our underwear or something. What kind of freak are you living with?”

Chad snorts. “Shut up, dude!” Chad looks at Jared. “I meet them out here a couple of nights ago. They live upstairs from us.”

Jared cracks open his soda and nods, and then turns to Mike, faux-whispering behind his hand. “Don’t tell anyone, but the only reason I’m rooming with him is because his parents are paying me.”

Mike laughs uproariously, clapping a hand down on Jared’s shoulder. “I like you, dude.” With ease, Jared’s welcomed into the group and he begins to relax and talk animatedly with everyone.

Chad and Mike get into an in-depth discussion regarding pranks and Jared turns to speak with Tom. Tom nods his head toward their respective roommates, “They’re gonna get us in a ton of trouble, aren’t they?”

Jared snorts. “Yeah, probably.”

They talk and laugh and Jared’s relaxed and loose, leaning back in his chair, talking to Tom. People come and go and Jared moves among the groups smiling his big goofy grin, the one that makes the girls want to take care of him and guys want to be friends with him. He even flirts with a cute guy that he definitely wants to get to know better. He’s feeling pretty good when Mike and Tom call him over. “Jared—hey—come over here, we want you to meet our other roommate. Jared excuses himself and heads over to where they’re standing, Chad meeting him on the way. “Jared—Chad this is our other roommate Jensen. He’s been MIA with his girlfriend the last few days, but now that he’s back, we’re gonna get these two frosh in tons of trouble.”

A tall blond stands beside Mike and Tom with a cute brunette on his arm. He extends out his hand to them. “Hi—I’m Jensen. This is my girlfriend Sophia. Nice to meet you both.”

Chad looks up when Jared doesn’t respond and finds his friend staring with his jaw dropped open. Chad quickly looks back and forth and with dawning recognition, steps in front of Jared. “Hey, nice to meet you.” He shakes Jensen’s hand and smiles at Sophia.

Jared’s still trying to speak, but his mouth is now locked up tighter than Fort Knox and he can’t get a word out. Finally, he gets control of himself and turns the wattage up on his smile, looking directly at Jensen. He speaks in almost a whisper, “Hi.”

Jensen holds his gaze for a moment, cocking his head like he might say something, but then goes back to talking with Sophia and Tom.

The way Jared’s face falls, anyone might have thought he just found out one of his beloved dogs had died. Chad can see the distress on his face and tells the group they’ve got plans with other people and they’ll see them later. He grips Jared’s arm and drags him out of the pool area onto the quiet path leading behind the dorm building. “Breathe, buddy.” Chad watches as Jared takes a few deep breaths. “So that was him, huh?”

Jared’s silent and staring at his sneakers; Chad doesn’t think he’s going to respond at all until Jared looks up with anger flashing in his eyes. “He didn’t recognize me. I spent four years pining over him. Thinking of every excuse why he didn’t call me after that summer, and he just looked me in the eye and didn’t even recognize me!”

Chad steps back, surprised at the forcefulness in his friend’s words. He stutters a bit trying to think of something to say.

“Well—uh—you’ve changed a lot since then. You grew like a hundred feet, and wasn’t that the summer you shaved your head? Maybe you should go back and talk to him? I’m sure he’ll remember once you remind him.”

Jared looks back up the path, thoughtful for a moment and then his features go hard again. “No way, I shouldn’t _have_ to remind him. Besides, he obviously hasn’t given me a second thought since that summer, he’s got a _girlfriend_ now. I’m gonna take your advice and live a little, enjoy college life.”

Jared turns and heads back the way they came, determination plain on his face.

***

Jared easily is one of the most well-known guys in the building. He talks to everyone, most of the time he won’t shut up even if you’re walking away from him, and he can play jokes and party with the best of them. While Mike and Chad are off causing trouble, Jared finds himself hanging with Tom often, which means Jared keeps running into to Jensen—and Sophia.

On a Thursday afternoon, Jared is lounging across the small couch in Tom’s apartment waiting for him. His long limbs hang over the ends as he listlessly flips channels. He checks his watch again before calling to Tom, “Dude, hurry up! What could possibly take so long? You’re worse than a girl.”

A door bangs open and Jared looks up, hoping it’s Tom, but instead he finds Jensen coming through the front door with his arms full of books. Jared’s chest constricts when Jensen smiles the same smile Jared spent four years dreaming about. Jensen drops his bag to the floor and flops down onto the couch next to Jared. “You better get used to the waiting. Tommy’s never on time for anything.”

Jared sits up and awkwardly shifts on the couch. He’s tried to avoid being alone with Jensen, but he knew it was bound to happen sooner or later. His eyes linger on Jensen for a moment before he glues them to the television.

Jensen slouches further into the couch and Jared flinches, forcing himself not to lean closer to the one guy he desperately wants to be near.

“Who’s winning?”

Jared looks up, perplexed, until he realizes he’d left the TV on a soccer game. He stutters over his words thinking how much his life sucks that it would be a _soccer_ game on the television. “Uh, not sure. I just flipped it on when you came in.”

Jensen nods and watches the action on the screen. He glances back at Jared and then cocks his head toward the screen. “You play?”

Jared’s breath gets stuck in his chest and his eyes lock onto Jensen’s. For a moment, he thinks maybe Jensen has realized who he is, and this is his way of acknowledging it, but Jensen’s eyes don’t show any spark of recognition.

Jensen grabs the open bag of pretzels sitting on the coffee table. “I’m a lacrosse man myself, but I enjoy the game.”

Jared’s finally able to breathe again and forces himself to answer. “No, I don’t play.” Jared pauses, thinking a moment before adding, “I used to play a long time ago, but it really wasn’t my thing.”

Jensen’s gaze flickers back to him for a second, and Jared’s hopeful that the look means something, but Jensen just nods absently and turns back to the TV. He leans back and starts to talk about the lack of media coverage for the professional soccer league and Jared finds himself relaxing and actually talking to Jensen. It almost seems like no time has passed and they’re back in Jared’s dorm at EASC talking about the upcoming tournament or that day's practice.

Tom comes out of the bathroom and joins them watching the game. Before long the game ends, and Jared winds up telling them stories from when he and Chad were in high school. Jared’s telling them about the time Chad wound up passed out naked on the fifty yard line of their high school’s football field and the whole team found him when they showed up for Saturday morning practice.

Jared’s flying on a natural high that he’s got Jensen laughing so hard he's gasping for breath. Jared hasn’t heard that laugh in so long, and he’d give anything to hear it again, all the time.

He’s jarred from his thoughts when he feels Jensen’s hand land unexpectedly on his knee. Jared freezes for a second and Jensen pulls his hand back quickly. There’s an awkward moment, but then Tommy’s saying they should get going, that they’ve got to meet up with Chad. Jared’s up off the couch and halfway to the door as Tom tells Jensen they’ll see him later.

Jared’s quiet as they leave the building, and on their way out they pass by Sophia on her way in to see Jensen. They both wave and she throws them a bright smile and waves back.

Jared watches her for a moment. “She seems nice.” He pauses, thinking about if he should ask Tom about her and Jensen or not. He decides to just go for it. “How long have she and Jensen been together? They seem real tight.”

Tom gives Jared a funny look before answering. “They’ve only been together for a little while, but they’ve been friends since their freshmen year.”

The small bit of hope Jared has that Sophia is just some fling goes flying out the window. Jensen would never ruin a friendship for just some fling. At least not the Jensen he knew. He catches Tom watching him and he fumbles to cover his disappointment. “I was just wondering. They seem so perfect together.”

Tom shoots him another strange look. “Yeah—you’d think. Now come on, we’re late already.”

***

As much as Jared wants to avoid Jensen, it's impossible, especially because they get along so well. They always vote to watch the same movie, they laugh at the same jokes and half the time they finish each other's sentences.

Jared, however, is very careful to avoid physical contact with Jensen as much as possible. Simple brushing of arms has Jared’s breath hitching and he just can’t handle it. The tightness that pulls in his chest when they get close is too painful, so he’s very careful to avoid contact.

***

Mike’s shoving potato salad into his face in the dining hall because someone dared him to, and half their table is disgusted while the other half is hysterically laughing. Jared can’t decide which half he's in, but his mind isn't really on Mike's antics anyway. Jensen wound up sitting next to him at the table and he’s laughing so hard he’s leaning into Jared and grasping at his arm.

Jared tries subtly to pull away, but Mike’s eyes begin to water as he stuffs another mountain of potato into his mouth and Jensen grips his arm tighter. For a moment Jared sinks into it, letting the feeling of Jensen's touch take him over—the lean muscle of his thigh pressed to Jared’s, his strong fingers firmly holding Jared’s bicep and the soft brush of spiky hair against Jared’s shoulder as Jensen practically falls over laughing. When Jared opens his eyes Jensen’s looking right at him, and there’s a second when it’s like they’re the only two in the room. The moment ends abruptly when Jensen seems to realize how close they are and he springs back. Jared snaps back as well, slightly confused. He catches Sophia watching the two of them with a curious look as he turns back to where Mike has finished stuffing his face and is now looking a little green.

Jared doesn’t look back at Jensen for the rest of the meal, but as the group walks from the dining hall back toward Uni Oaks he sees Sophia leaning into Jensen, whispering to him and glancing at Jared.

***

Jared’s sitting in the sunny quad reading for his Intro to Civil Engineering class when a shadow falls across his textbook. He squints up through his long bangs to find Sophia standing over him. She smiles brightly at him. “Mind if I join you?”

Jared wishes he could say ‘Yes, I mind, you boyfriend stealer,’ but of course he can’t say that. Besides, Sophia is way too nice. Jared tried very hard to hate her when he first met her, but she’s sweet and kind and exactly the kind of girl Jared would date, if he were into girls.

He realizes he hasn’t answered her, but she’s making herself comfortable in the lush grass next to him anyway. He decides the best thing to do is just read his book, so he determinedly stares at his textbook as Sophia rustles her papers next to him.

After a few minutes of silence, Sophia stops pretending to read her notes and turns to face Jared. “So, Jared, you’re from San Antonio, right?”

Jared glances up and nods his head, unsure as to where she’s going with this conversation.

She twirls a lock of shiny brown hair around her finger. “Why’d you stay here instead of going away? Don’t you want to be away from home, experience something new?”

Jared shakes his bangs from his forehead. “I like it here. Texas is my home and I get along fine with my family so there’s no need to go away from them. Besides, it’s not like I’m living at home. I get my own space, but my family is nearby if I need them. Seemed like a win-win to me.”

Sophia’s silent while she thinks for a moment. “You and your friend Chad knew each other from home, right?”

Jared still a little confused why Sophia’s taken a sudden interest in him, but he answers anyway. “Yeah, we’ve been friends since middle school.”

Sophia quiets and Jared thinks the mini interrogation is over, but she shifts gears and asks, “Do you know any of the guys on the lacrosse team?”

Jared’s really confused now. “Other than Jensen? Nope, I haven’t really been into sports since I was a kid. I was into acting classes in high school, thought I might give Hollywood a try, but I couldn’t break my momma’s heart by giving up on college.”

Before Sophia can get her next question out, Jared cuts her off. “Sophia, what’s with all the questions? I feel like I should have a spotlight glaring into my face.”

Sophia flushes slightly and shrugs her shoulders. “I’m interested; can’t I get to know a new friend? You hardly ever talk about yourself at all.”

Jared tries meeting Sophia gaze, but she keeps glancing away. There’s an awkward silence until Jared finally says, “Fine, what do you want to know?”

Sophia still can’t meet Jared’s gaze and she’s fidgeting nervously when she asks, “I heard you and Matt from the third floor are pretty friendly.”

Jared finally gets it. Sophia’s heard that he’s gay. He actually had been waiting for someone to give him a hard time about it; he just didn’t think it was going to be Sophia. So much for sweet and nice. He shuts his book and starts gathering his stuff together. “Look, I’m into guys. I have been for a long time. I came out when I was barely fifteen years old and I had to deal with all sorts of jerks in high school, but I don’t have to deal with them here. If you’re uncomfortable with me because I’m gay, then it’s your problem not mine. So just stay the hell away from me.”

He’s on his feet and quickly halfway across the quad, and doesn’t hear Sophia calling out to him. “No—wait, Jared!”

***

Jared is lying on his bed staring at the ceiling, when Chad swings his door open and comes barging in without knocking. “You’ve been in here all afternoon sulking. What’s up dude? Come hang out with the Chad-man.”

Jared’s lips twitch up at his friend’s attempt to cheer him up. “Do you remember when I told you I was gay?”

Chad’s surprised at Jared’s question, but then again his friend does dwell on the past. “Sure, it was right at the end of freshmen year. You told me right before you told your parents. You thought your dad was gonna freak out and he was actually more understanding than your mom. Remember how she kept trying to get you to go out with Dana Walker?”

Jared snorts. “Yeah—she was the last girl I would have gone out with even if I wanted to date girls.” Jared sighs. “Anyway, I decided to tell my parents after the Spring Formal. Remember, I went with Ashley Jones? I tried so hard. I really wanted to just _like_ her. It had been months and Jensen hadn’t called and I just thought it had been a summer thing, but at the dance I couldn’t stop staring at Jason McNamara in his suit.” Jared puffs out a breath. “Jensen had been so confident in who he was. He didn’t care if people knew if he was into guys or girls, so I just thought if he could do it so could I.”

Chad nods, listening to his friend talk.

Jared sits up on the bed and leans against the head board. “And when we came back to school that next fall, word had spread pretty fast that I’d dated a guy over the summer.”

Chad winces, remembering what Jared had gone through.

“It sucked. Guys I’d known since elementary school wouldn’t talk to me, didn’t want to change near me in the locker room. There were people that acted like I was diseased.”

Chad cocks his head, “But you had us, we didn’t care and eventually that stuff died down. They were idiots. Who cares how you get your kicks as long as you get ‘em.”

Chad waggles his eyebrows at Jared and he laughs at his friend. “I had the strangest conversation with Sophia today.”

Chad raises an eyebrow. “Yeah? That girl is seriously hot. What she have to say?”

Jared leans his head back against the wall and stares at the ceiling. “She was asking me all sorts of questions about home and my friends and then she asked about Matt.”

Chad looks puzzled. “Who?”

“The guy from the party that first weekend we were here.”

“Oh.” Chad's eyes widen. “ _Oh._ ”

“Yeah.” Jared runs a hand though his hair. “She was all shifty and uncomfortable and she could barely _look_ at me, let alone ask me about him. I thought college would be better, people would be more open-minded, but I guess there’s always one in the bunch that has to be close-minded. The kicker is that it’s _Jensen’s_ girlfriend. I wonder what she’d say if she knew the guy she’s dating has had my dick in his ass.”

Chad’s face immediately scrunches up. “Duuude, too much information!” He grabs Jared's arm and pulls him off the bed. “Come on, we’re doing sink or swim at Bar 89 tonight and you’re going to forget all about those two. We’re going to find you a hottie to get your mind off all this.”

Jared stumbles up from his bed, laughing. “Like, I’d ever let _you_ pick out my dates. I’d be dating a heavyweight body-building meathead who couldn’t count to five on his own hand.”

Their laughter echoes as they leave the apartment heading to the bar.

***

Chad and Jared pay the five dollar cover and flash their fake IDs to the bouncer and each receive cups in return. The bar’s packed with students and they have to muscle their way up to the bar. It’s quarter drinks ‘til eight, so they buy the first round and chug it right there and push their cups back at the bartender immediately dropping more quarters on the bar. After they’ve got their drinks, they find Mike and Tom up on the second floor. They’re leaning against the railing watching the band set up for the first set.

They stand talking in the crowded room, taking turns making trips to the bar for drinks. By the time band comes on, Jared’s pretty much toasted and there’s a petite girl in a low-cut top practically sitting in his lap despite the fact that he’s barely giving her the time of day.

Mike and Tom have been watching the scene and look questioningly at Chad. “What’s up with Jared? He’s pretty out of it.”

Chad looks over at his friend, whose eyes are glazed, and the girl that’s leaning into him, flashing her cleavage, hoping for some kind of response. “Someone gave him a hard time for being gay. You know Jared, he’s the most easy-going guy around, but when someone is automatically going to dislike him because of who _he_ likes, it gets him more than a little upset.”

Mike and Tom exchange a nervous glance. “Um—do you know who was bugging him? A group of guys?”

Chad looks at them curiously; he doesn’t want to tell them it was Sophia. She’s their friend too, but they seem to know something they’re not saying. “Uh—no just someone.”

They both nod absently, still watching Jared as he continues to sip yet another drink.

The band’s set ends and Chad sets his drink down. “I think I better get him home.”

Chad walks over to his friend and once Jared spots him, the smile that breaks over his face could light up the Las Vegas strip. “Chad! My friend! Come over here I want you to meet my new friend—uh.”

The girl that’s draped all over Jared sticks out her hand. “Sandy, nice to meet you.”

Chad shakes her hand and then turns to Jared. “Hey, buddy I think we better get going. You’re pretty wasted.”

Jared waves a floppy hand in Chad’s direction. “Nah, man, I’m having a good time. I’m talking to—what was your name again?”

A little put out to have give her name again, Sandy huffs at Jared. “It’s _Sandy_.”

Jared’s loose and pliant in his seat, a lazy smile stretched across his face. “That’s right. I’m here with Sandy. No one has a problem with me talking to Sandy.” He looks around loudly asking the general vicinity. “Does anybody have a problem with me talking to Sandy?”

Chad grabs at Jared’s bicep, pulling him up from his seat. “Jare, I really think we should go, man.”

Suddenly Jared feels weighted down and he can barely keep his eyes open. He sighs. “Yeah—okay.”

Chad maneuvers him away from Sandy where she’s standing looking disappointed that he’s taking the hook up she’d been working on all night away from her. Chad looks back her. “Sorry, babe, but you’re not his type at all.”

The indignant look on her face is priceless. He just wishes Jared was going to remember this tomorrow so they could laugh over it together.

***

Jared lay on the couch in the living room with a cold washcloth across his eyes. He’s missed all his classes today and has only managed to move from his bed to the couch after getting acquainted with the porcelain god in his bathroom.

Chad walks in and lets the door slam behind him. Jared groans from the couch. “Dude, did you have to bring a marching band home with you? I’m dying here.”

Chad flops into the chair across from the couch. “Hey, I’m not the one who drank my weight in Jack and Coke last night. _So_ not my fault you feel like shit. Besides, you should thank me.”

Jared turns his head gingerly in Chad’s direction, but doesn’t remove the washcloth. “And why is that?”

Chad kicks his feet up on the coffee table. “I totally saved you last night. Don’t you remember _Sandy_?”

Jared groans again, except this time it’s not from the hangover. “Oh God, did I do something?”

Chad laughs, debating whether or not to torture his friend further. “Nah—I got to you _before_ your little friend could get her hands down your pants, but I’d stay away from her. She’s totally hot for your bod and even if you were into chicks—well let’s just say even _I_ wouldn’t go there.”

Jared finally lets the washcloth slide from his face as he sits up carefully. He’s watching as Chad shifts nervously in the chair. “What is it? Did I do something else last night?”

Chad looks up and away. “No, but I talked to Mike and Tom on my way in. Today’s Jensen’s lacrosse game—we were all supposed to go.”

Jared slumps deeper into the couch. “Right.”

Chad leans forward in the chair. “We don’t have to. I’ll just tell them you’re not feeling well. It’s the truth.”

Jared’s quiet while he thinks about what he wants to do.

Chad shakes his head. “I don’t understand you. Why don’t you just tell him who you are instead of torturing yourself?”

Jared sighs. “Honestly, I thought about it, but he’s happy. Tom told me he and Sophia have been friends since freshmen year. This isn’t just a throw away relationship for him and I don’t want to ruin that. I can be just friends with him.” Jared stands and squares his shoulders. “I’m not going to let yesterday get to me. Let me shower and then we can get going.” Jared quirks a crooked smile at Chad. “Besides even though it’s self-torture, watching Jensen play lacrosse will totally make me feel better.”

Chad makes a pained face. “What did I say about too much information!”

***

They arrive at the game and head over to where Mike and Tom are sitting. They pass Sophia with a few of her friends, but Jared doesn’t look at her, even though she tries to get his attention.

Jared’s quiet throughout the whole first half of the game, but that’s only because he can’t take his eyes off Jensen. In the four years since Jared’s seen him he’s gotten even better, and that’s saying a lot because when they were at camp, Jensen had been pretty damn good.

It’s like watching liquid motion. Jensen tears up and down the field easily maneuvering his stick, catching and passing the ball. Chad elbows Jared toward the end of the first half when Jensen smoothly side-steps another player and scores a goal. “Roll your tongue up, Jare, you’re ogling.”

Jared finally takes his eyes off Jensen and Chad’s smirking at him. At half time, Mike asks how they like the game and without thinking Jared practically gushes about Jensen. “Jensen is awesome. He’s like Superman out on the field. He’s scoring left and right. When he stole the ball out from under that other player’s nose, I thought that guy was gonna spit bullets.”

Mike grins. “Yup, that’s our Jenny-boy. You’d never know it just by meeting him, but he’s a machine on the field.”

Tom butts in. “Yeah—he’s here on a full scholarship for lacrosse. Good thing too, he wouldn’t be able to stay without the scholarship. His parents wouldn’t be able to afford tuition _and_ room and board. He’d probably have to transfer somewhere up in Dallas if he didn’t play.”

Jared’s about to ask why Jensen wouldn’t be playing, when a loud wolf-whistle sounds from the bench. All their attention is drawn to the noise. Jensen’s teammates are whooping at Sophia sitting on Jensen’s lap, kissing him so deep she can probably taste what he had for lunch.

Jared turns away quickly, hurt plain on his face. He intensely studies the bench, the little tear in the hem of his shirt, his sneakers, Chad’s sneakers, anything to avoid watching Jensen make out with Sophia. Finally, the cheers die down, but Jared’s not really in the mood to watch the rest of the game.

When he looks up again, both Mike and Tom are watching him. He quickly turns to Chad and whispers that he’s going back to the dorm. As he trudges up the hill away from the game he glances back to see Chad explaining to Mike and Tom that Jared’s still not feeling well, but he also sees Jensen watching him leave.

***

Jared’s sitting out in the pool area talking to Jessie and Erica from his hallway when out of the corner of his eye he sees Jensen come through the gate, waving to a few people. Jared keeps talking to the girls, but also keeps an eye on Jensen.

He’s heading straight for Jared and Jared knows it, but he can’t just get up and escape to his room. So instead, he intently listens to the story Jessie’s telling. He’s so absorbed in Jessie's words that the tap on the shoulder actually startles him.

Jared turns and can’t help the smile that stretches across his face; even with all his conflicting feelings about Jensen, he can’t not smile when he sees him. They all say hello to Jensen and Jared’s praying that when Jessie finishes her story she’ll launch into another one so Jared won’t have to really talk to Jensen. A few minutes later, though, Erica’s looking at her watch and saying they have to be going, leaving Jared all alone with Jensen.

Jared’s nervously bouncing his knee trying to think of what to say to Jensen, but Jensen speaks first. “I saw you at the game the other day. Thanks for coming. Chad said you left because you weren’t feeling well. You alright?”

Jared fidgets in his seat. “Yeah—just too much drinking the night before. Jack Daniels and I are not friends.”

Jensen chuckles. “I know that feeling.”

Jared relaxes a bit. “You were really good, man. The way you handle the ball, the team’s lucky to have you.”

Jensen blushes at the compliment. “I guess.”

There’s quiet between them, but it’s not awkward. Jared breaks the silence. “I never see you hanging out with the team. I mean shouldn’t you be living at the LAX house. I thought all the guys lived there.”

Jensen’s startled by the question and Jared instantly wishes he’d let the comfortable silence continue. Jensen fumbles, “Oh, you know, I met Mike and Tom my freshmen year and we were inseparable. Besides, living with two guys compared to living with twenty-five is a _way_ better deal.”

Jared laughs. “Yeah—except if you’re living with Chad. Living with one Chad _is_ like living with twenty-five guys.” They both chuckle at Chad’s expense.

Jared squints into the sun. “It’s getting hot out here. You want to head in with me? We can watch a movie or something.”

Jensen smiles brightly, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Yeah, let’s go.”

***

Inside they lounge on the couch, drinking beer and watching a DVD. Jared’s got no idea where Chad is, but he hopes he doesn’t come home anytime soon.

Jared feels pliant after a few beers and he and Jensen are leaning into each other on the couch. He couldn’t tell you what is going on onscreen because for the last twenty minutes all Jared can concentrate on are the points of his body that press up against Jensen. He can smell the sharp scent of Jensen’s shampoo and he keeps glancing over at the four freckles that form a parallelogram just below Jensen’s ear. The fifth time he glances over Jensen’s already looking his way and catches him.

He blushes and quickly turns back to the TV. The sixth time Jared looks he realizes there are two more freckles that _almost_ make the shape look like the Big Dipper. On the seventh glance, he thinks about tracing the freckle constellation with his tongue. The eighth time he looks, Jensen catches him again. “Dude, what are you looking at? Do I have something on my neck?”

Jared’s flushes a deep purple, but manages to answer. “No, I was—I was just looking at your freckles.”

Jared may have had the market cornered on purple, but Jensen flushes a bright crimson to rival it. “Oh.”

They’re both sitting in silence, grinning at each other, unable to look away until gunfire from the DVD blasts from the speakers and startles them out of their stare. They both jump and shift away from each other, sharing one last glance before refocusing on the movie.

***

Jared takes the long way around campus from his afternoon class to swing by the sports field where Jensen has practice. He stands hidden from view by the bleachers. Jared thinks watching Jensen play lacrosse is better than any porn he’s ever watched. Nothing turns him on or gets him harder than seeing Jensen sweaty and aggressive on the field. Jared knows he shouldn’t be watching him like this. Jensen’s with Sophia, and even though he and Jensen still seem to have a connection, Jared feels a little guilty about being here.

It doesn’t stop him from watching until practice is over, though. The team heads directly for where Jared is standing and he ducks under the bleachers not wanting Jensen to know he’s been there, watching. The group heading toward him is led by the team captain, a senior named Bill that Jared’s seen around campus. One of the other seniors asks Bill if he had Stevenson for Managerial Accounting and Bill looks up in disgust. “That fag? No way, I wouldn’t sit in a classroom with him. He’d probably try to make a move on me. He shouldn’t even be allowed to teach here.”

Jared cringes at the word ‘fag’ and notices that Jensen flinches and drops to the back of the group away from Bill. Jared shrinks further back under the bleachers as the group passes, Bill still spewing derogatory vitriol.

***


	4. This is the Last Stop

 

Mike, Tom and Jensen host a party on Saturday night. Jared’s seen Jensen every day this week, whether it be to watch TV or go to the library to study. He notices, however, that Sophia has been mysteriously absent whenever Jared’s around. Jared’s not entirely sure what to make of that, but he’s grateful that she went home this weekend and isn’t around for the party.

Jared shows up early and he and Jensen start pre-gaming it around six o’clock, so by the time people start showing up around eight both Jared and Jensen are pretty buzzed. They haven’t left each other's side for more than a few minutes the entire night, but Jared’s not so blind that he doesn’t notice the looks shooting back and forth between Mike and Tom whenever they’re watching the two of them together.

About halfway through the night Chad grabs Jared and pulls him away from Jensen. “Dude, what are you doing? Maybe you should head home.”

Jared’s eyebrows draw together. “What are you talking about, man? I’m having an awesome time.”

Chad rolls his eyes. “I know you are. But you’re all over Jensen. Did you forget that he doesn’t remember who you are? Or what he did to you four years ago? Or that he has a girlfriend? Any of this ring a bell? I think maybe you shouldn’t be around him when you’re this drunk.”

Jared twists away from Chad’s hold. “I’m _fine_. We’re just friends. I’m having a good time.”

Chad doesn’t want to cause a scene in the middle of the party, so he backs off. “I’m just trying to look out for you here. Mike and Tom have been watching you two all night and they acted pretty weird when I asked them what was up. I just don’t want this to blow up in your face.”

Jared pushes his hair off his forehead and slaps Chad on the shoulder. “Thanks, but I got it.”

There’s nothing that Chad can say to Jared in the state he’s in to get him to listen, so he heads back into the living room looking for Erica.

Jared’s just about to head back to the living room as well when Jensen comes down the hall, a hand on the wall to steady him. His eyes light up when he spots Jared. “Jared! I was looking for you.”

Jared returns Jensen's grin. “Well you found me. ‘M right here.”

A loud cheer goes up in the living room. Jensen tugs on Jared’s arm. “Come in here. ’S quieter.”

Jensen pushes Jared into his bedroom and closes the door behind them. In the dim light of the bedroom Jared can barely make out Jensen’s face, but when he speaks, Jared realizes he’s right in front of him practically close enough to touch. Jensen’s eyes are black pools in the darkened room. “Been waiting all night to get you alone.”

Jared’s breath hitches and he briefly wonders if he should take Chad’s advice and get out of here. Jensen’s obviously just as wasted as Jared is, and that can only lead to trouble.

Jensen steps closer and Jared can hear him breathing heavily. “Don’t know what it is ‘bout you, but s’it feels like I’ve known you forever.”

Jared smiles sadly, he wants so badly to tell Jensen that they _do_ know each other, that they’ve been so much more than friends. But he'd decided that if Jensen didn’t know who he was, he wasn't going to drop that bomb and ruin everything. So even with all the alcohol in his system, he somehow keeps from blurting out that they _do_ know each other. “Feels like I know you too, Jense.”

They’re so close; Jared can feel the warm wet puffs of Jensen’s breath. Their gazes lock and Jared feels like the entire world drops away and he and Jensen are the last two people on the planet. Jensen reaches up his hand and gently sweeps his thumb over Jared’s cheek, before sliding his fingers into the tangle of Jared’s hair and pulling him close.

When their lips meet, it’s soft at first, like a light breeze, but then Jared sucks Jensen lower lip into his mouth and nips it between his teeth. Jensen groans and slides his tongue into Jared’s mouth. Jensen tastes exactly as Jared remembers and he swears he can smell the fresh night air and the dew-soaked grass from EASC. When they pull apart, Jared’s still got his eyes shut savoring the moment. When they slide open Jensen’s staring at him, his eyes wide, alight with something akin to recognition, and his fingers are lightly brushing against his parted lips in disbelief.

Jared starts to sober and he begins to realize just what exactly happened between them. He reaches for Jensen, but he backs away.

Jensen realizes he’s still got his hand to his mouth and he drops it to his side. Uncertainty is plain on his face when he whispers, “JT?”

Jared startles at hearing Jensen use his old nickname; no one’s called him that since he was fourteen. He looks directly into Jensen's eyes without trepidation. “Yeah—it’s me.”

Jared tries again to reach for Jensen, but he backs away further.

“You—you look so different.”

Jared chuckles. “Yeah, well everyone kept saying I would hit my growth spurt and I hit it and just kept on going. Throw in fifty pounds of muscle and growing out my hair and I don’t look like the puny fourteen-year-old you knew.”

Jensen finally steps forward to really take a good look at Jared, shock is still coloring his features and he half reaches out to touch Jared’s face again. Jared’s eyes slip shut waiting for the touch. “I’ve been waiting for you to recognize me since I saw you that first day out by the pool.”

Jared’s still got his eyes shut, but the touch he’s expecting never comes. He opens his eyes to find Jensen staring at him—with anger on his face.

Jensen backs off again. “You’ve known this whole time and you didn’t say anything? What am I saying? Of course you knew me, _I_ haven’t been lying about who I am. What exactly has this been? Some sick joke you’re playing on me? Leading me on while you’ve known exactly who I am? God, I’m such a fool!”

Jared’s got his back up now and all the anger and hurt he’s been carrying around for four years comes rushing to the surface. “You feel foolish? I came home from camp and sat by the phone for a month waiting for you to call! Every day I came home from school asking my momma if there was any mail for me, if anyone had called for me, and every day I stood there like a fool when she told me no. I was just some kid you fucked around with at camp, right? Talk about leading on—you led me on ’til you had me so twisted up I didn’t know which way was up. So who’s the bigger fool?”

Jensen’s hands ball into tight fists at his sides and he grinds out. “It wasn’t like that!”

Jared snorts roughly. “Yeah—look at you man! It’s all about what makes Jensen feel good. I should have seen it then. How many people were you with that summer? There were at least two others I know of before we got together. I was just a warm body back then and Sophia, she’s a warm body now. Have to say, Jense, you sure can pick ‘em. She’s hot and she must be dynamite in the sack to keep you interested.” Jared voice goes low and dirty. “She let you fuck her mouth? She get on her hands and knees for you?”

Jensen lashes out shoving Jared backwards. “Don’t talk about her like that. She’s got nothing to do with this!”

Jared holds up his hands in mock apology. “Oh—I’m sorry she’s still Jensen’s treat du jour, can’t say anything bad about her. Well, I've got news for you, she isn’t as perfect as you seem to think she is. Seems sweet little Sophia has a problem with the gay man. Wonder what she’d say if she knew about your past?” Jared shoves a hand through his hair. “You know what? Fuck this. I’m out of here. I don’t know what I was thinking—you didn’t want me back then, I don’t know why I would want you to want me now.” Jared shoves past Jensen, slamming through the door and out into the party.

He storms through the crowd, past Mike, past Tom and past Chad, who are all watching as Jared crashes out of the apartment and Jensen comes flying out into the crowd after him.

Chad only takes a moment to say goodbye to Erica before following after Jared, and Mike and Tom both abandon their conversations to pull Jensen aside.

***

Jared’s pacing his bedroom like a caged animal when Chad finally gets down to their apartment. His eyes are clear, no longer hazy with alcohol, but they’re bright with anger. He can’t seem to straighten out his thoughts and Chad can barely follow his ranting. “He thinks _I_ made a fool of him! I spent months—years thinking about him, if something happened—if I did something wrong! God, he's got a bigot for a girlfriend!”

Jared finally calms for a moment and Chad jumps at his chance. He grabs of one of Jared’s flailing arms and hustles him over to the bed. “Calm down, man. You’re freaking out on me.” Chad sits next to Jared as his rapid breathing slowly calms.

Finally more in control, Jared speaks. “I should have listened to you. I should have never spent so much time with him.” Jared looks over to Chad, his eyes shiny under the fluorescent light. “I thought I was over him, but I fell for him all over again.”

Chad pats Jared on the shoulder gently. “I could have told you that you weren’t over him. You’ve been in love with him since you came back from camp that summer.”

Jared heaves a heavy sigh. “Maybe I have, but it’s all over now. He’s not who I thought he was. And I can’t go on like this.”

Jared sounds utterly defeated and Chad doesn’t know what to say to him, so he sits quietly next to Jared, letting his friend’s tears fall without comment.

***

Jared spends the rest of the weekend in his room only coming out for food. He tells Chad to send both Mike and Tom away when they stop by to see how Jared is. On both Monday and Tuesday, Jared hauls himself to class in flannel pajama bottoms and a hoodie, looking like he hasn’t slept in days.

By Friday Jared’s actually wearing proper clothes when he leaves the dorm. He stays quiet when he’s around people, but mostly because they all want to know what happened between him and Jensen—because Jared hasn’t been talking and neither has Jensen.

Jared’s doing a pretty good job of avoiding Jensen, but they live in the same building and Jared’s afraid his luck is going to run out soon, so he decides to go home for the weekend. He hasn’t seen his parents since he came to school almost two months ago, and he figures it’s about time for a visit.

Early Saturday morning, when the dorm is still quiet, he slinks through the hallways to meet his dad outside in front of the building.

He almost makes it, but in the lobby he literally runs into Sophia. He mumbles an apology and skirts around her quickly, but she grabs his wrist with a tight grip, not letting him get away. “Stop right there.”

Jared doesn’t move, but he also won’t look at her. In a toneless whisper he says, “My dad’s waiting for me.”

Sophia doesn’t let her grip loosen. “He’ll have to wait then, ‘cause you need to hear this and I’m not letting you leave until you do.”

Jared’s shoulders stiffen and he steels his gaze. “Fine, say what you have to say so I can go.”

Sophia pushes as close to Jared as she can, forcing him to look at her. “You need to talk to Jensen. Whatever you think happened back then, you don’t know the whole story.”

“And you do?”

Sophia huffs a frustrated breath out. “Yes. I do. Jensen’s talked about you since the first time I met him two years ago.”

Surprise dances across Jared’s face until skepticism takes over, unsure if Sophia’s telling the truth. “If you know so much then why don’t _you_ tell me?”

Exasperated, Sophia throws her hands up in the air. “You two are exactly alike!” She takes a deep breath and calms herself. “Look, it’s not my place to tell you. So one of you needs to let go of your stubborn pride and just go talk to each other.”

Jared is on the brink of caving until he remembers the last conversation he had with Sophia. “Why should I believe you? Why do you even _want_ us to talk? You’re the one that has a problem with me.”

Sophia rolls her eyes. “Believe me I _don’t_ have a problem with you. If you’d stayed and listened to me instead of jumping to conclusions and running off, you would know I was only trying to get to know you, to find out what your—intentions were.”

Jared smirks, “Oh, afraid of a little competition?”

Sophia waves him off. “I give up. You’re never going to listen to me.”

A shrill beep interrupts them, as Jared notices his dad parked in front of the building. He looks back at Sophia and his stare softens a bit. “I have to go.”

She stands on her toes and calls after him, “Think about what I said.”

***

Jared spends his whole Saturday with his family. Megan is dying to know what college is like, living in the dorms and not having their parents hovering over him constantly. He tells his parents more about his classes and which professors he likes and dislikes.

He complains about the food, even though it isn’t _that_ bad, but he is telling the truth when he says he is dying for his momma’s barbeque.

That night, Jared lay in his bed in his old bedroom. It had been too small for him, literally, before he left for college, but now after some time living on his own it also seems too small emotionally.

It is home and he feels safe and comfortable here, but all his drama posters and debate ribbons seem so far in the past. He can’t go back, but he feels stuck and he can’t go forward either.

How can he move on if Jensen is always going to be right in front of him, blocking his way?

***

On Sunday morning, Jared sits in his kitchen, sunlight streaming through the open window. He stuffs his momma’s buttermilk pancakes in his mouth, licking warm syrup from his lips. He knows he has to go back to school this afternoon. He knows he’s going to have to talk to Jensen even if it’s just to agree to avoid each other, but there’s something nibbling at his insides that he just can’t put a name on.

When his momma decides to drive him back to school, he’s a little surprised. Usually Sunday afternoons are her time in the garden, but today she and Jared load all his clean laundry into the car and slide into their seats for the ride back to school together.

The first few minutes in the car are silent save for Jared playing with the radio buttons, but when his mother rests a hand on his wrist and asks what’s bothering him he can’t even think of lying to her.

He switches off the radio with a snick. “It’s Jensen.”

His mother sighs loudly in the enclosed space. “Oh, honey. I thought you’d gotten over this.”

Jared shakes his head, explaining in a soft voice. “No, I haven’t just been thinking about him. He’s at school. He lives upstairs from me.”

Sherri’s eyes widen in surprise. “Oh—at UT with you?”

Jared only nods, letting the information sink in. They ride in silence until they reach campus and they pull into the lot closest to Uni Oaks. Sitting in the parking lot his mother finally speaks, “What did he have to say to you?”

Jared is quiet, it still hurts that Jensen didn’t recognize him and to have to admit it to his mother hurts even more. His voice is barely a rasp. “He didn’t recognize me. We spent weeks hanging out together and it took— ” He cuts off sharply, embarrassed to tell his mother he’d kissed Jensen. “Well he only just realized who I am.”

His mother reaches across the seat and brushes her fingers through his hair. “Oh sweetheart, I’m sorry.”

Jared looks over at his mother miserably. “The really sick part of all of this is that, even with what happened back then, I really wanted to have another chance with him now. Even after having an argument, I want to find a way to work things out.”

Sherri reaches down to give her son’s hand a squeeze. “I wish I could take this hurt away. I don’t like seeing you like this, honey. The only thing I can tell you is that if you want to get past this, you _are_ going to have to talk to Jensen. It might sting to hear him out, but you’ve spent too long already trying to bury this and it hasn’t worked yet.”

Jared sinks further into his seat. “I know. I’m just afraid of hearing what he has to say.”

His mother cups his chin and forces him to look up. “Now that’s not the son I raised. You talk to him and get this worked out.”

He is reassured seeing the absolute faith his mother has in him. “You’re right, momma. I can do this. It’s just words.”

Sherri smiles a bright grin that makes it easy to see where her son gets his dimples. “That’s my baby. Go on now, get back to your friends and give me a call if you need me.” She leans across the seat to give Jared a kiss and he returns it with a “love you, momma.”

He hops from the car grabbing his duffel, stuffed with clean laundry, and other various bags. Weighted down, he waves goodbye before stumbling up into the building.

***

Chad attacks the food Jared brought from home the moment he enters their apartment. “Mmm, barbeque.”

Jared laughs at his friend. “Hey, that’s for both of us, so don’t go stickin’ your fingers all over everything.”

Chad nods, but he’s already got sauce on his fingers and streaked on his cheeks.

Jared puts away his stuff, which just means he throws it all in the bottom of his closet. They both skirt around the subject of Jensen, careful not to mention him or anything that happened the week prior.

Finally, Chad can’t keep his mouth shut any longer. “Tom stopped by yesterday looking for you.”

Jared raises an eyebrow. “Oh yeah?”

Chad nods, “Yeah and Mikey was here earlier, too. They both wanted to see how you were doing.” He pauses, waiting to see if Jared has anything to say. “They both said he’s just as miserable.”

Jared’s shoulders stiffen. He’s not ready to hear this.

Chad fiddles with the television remote, trying for casual. “Maybe you should talk to him.”

Jared grabs the remote from Chad’s hand, dropping it down on the table. “I’m going to talk to him, just—not yet.”

“Okay.” Chad picks the remote back up this time turning the TV on. “Okay.”

***

They watch TV for most of the afternoon. Jared tries to read the next chapter in his _Metals & Materials_ book, but he winds up reading the same page over and over again. The dorm is quiet. Most people are either studying or still trying to recover from Saturday night. All Jared can think of is Jensen and their summer at EASC.

That summer he'd wanted so much to prove something to himself, and his father. He thought that becoming an amazing athlete would help him be seen as his own person. But instead of coming home an improved soccer player, Jared came home knowing so much more. He knew how to be happy, and he wasn't going to settle for less. He had come out to his parents less than a year later unable to pretend any longer to be someone he wasn’t, and the strength it took to be that honest with them was all it took for his dad to stop treating him like a child. Though it took his mom a while longer to accept his homosexuality, their conversation this afternoon only underscores how much closer they are now.

Chad's looking over at him as Jared chuckles under his breath at the direction his thoughts have taken. I should be on Dr. Phil, he thinks. But as his mind races, Jared realizes that Jensen had started him on this voyage of self-discovery, no matter how painful the aftermath had been for Jared. And that alone earned Jensen the right to explain.

Finally, he screws up enough courage to go upstairs. He feels Chad’s eyes boring into his back as he leaves the apartment. He lingers in the hallway looking at people’s message boards until he’s standing in front of Jensen’s apartment. He lifts his hand to knock, but hesitates for a moment, his hand hanging limply in mid-air, before knocking soundly against the door.

Jared’s about to take off back down to his room to hide when the door swings open and he’s face-to-face with Mike. For the first time since Jared’s met Mike the man is speechless, standing in the door frame surprised to see Jared.

Finally, he gets his senses back and waves Jared in the door. Tom sits up on the couch when he sees it is Jared. “Hey.”

All three are staring uncomfortably at each other, until Jared clears his throat. “Uh—is Jensen here?”

Tom gestures toward the bedrooms. “He’s in his room.”

Jared ducks his head remembering the last time he was in Jensen’s room. “Oh—okay.” He heads toward the hall.

Tom stands from the couch, pulling on Mike’s sleeve. “We’ll just give you guys some time.”

Jared can’t help the small twist of his lips when he hears Mike hiss, “No, I wanna hear what’s going on.”

Tom smacks him on the back of the head and drags him out of the apartment.

Jared steels his nerves and steps up to Jensen’s door. He knocks lightly on the door, only hearing the hammering of his heart in his chest. He hears a soft “come in” float through the door.

Tentatively, he twists the knob and pushes the door open, peeking his head in. He sees Jensen tense when he looks up to see Jared in his doorway. “I—um—came to talk.”

He can’t stop staring at Jensen stretched out on his bed, leaning against his headboard with a book open across his lap. For a brief moment, all Jared wants to do is toss that book away and straddle those hips, but he settles for pulling out the desk chair and sitting backwards, crossing his arms across the back of the chair.

They both can only stare and the silence stretches on for way too long. Finally, Jensen clears his throat. “I know you’re mad and I can’t imagine what it was like for you back then, not to hear from me. You have to know it’s not what you think. I’d have never hurt you like that.”

Jared’s doesn’t let his face give anything away. “Tell me what it _was_ like then.”

Jensen ducks his head, a strawberry flush crawling across his face and down his neck. He mumbles so low that Jared almost can’t hear him. “I lost your number.”

Jared straightens up in surprise, not having expected that.

Jensen presses forward with self-loathing in his voice. “I was so stupid. I was afraid of losing it. I didn’t have pockets and I stuck it in one of the boxes I was shipping home.” He snorts derisively. “I never thought of the possibility that the box would get lost in shipping.”

Jared stares at him in disbelief. All these years he’s been beating himself up over this and a stupid box caused this whole mess.

Jensen sits up, anxious to explain further. “You don’t understand what I did to try and find you. I tried calling information, but your family wasn’t listed. I made my mom call the shipping company and track the lost boxes. I made her call the camp to try and get them to give me your number. I was ready to get on a bus and come down here and find you. I spent weeks trying to visualize your number from memory. It was the stupidest mistake I’ve ever made.”

Jared listens to Jensen talk, all the while thinking that as Jensen was kicking himself over losing his number Jared had been torturing himself thinking he’d done something wrong. It was all so stupid.

Jensen stops mid-sentence. Jared hasn’t realized he has spoken aloud. He repeats. “We were both so stupid.”

Jensen’s lips twist into a sad smile. “Yeah, I spent these last four years tormenting myself, thinking ‘what if’ I’d just held onto the paper. If I’d done something different it wouldn’t have gotten lost. Once when I came to San Antonio to visit relatives, I spent the entire trip watching for you on the sidewalks or in the places we visited. Fuck—I came to school here hoping that I might have a chance of running into you. I never stopped thinking about you. I never stopped caring about you.”

It's a lot to take in. Jared can’t believe that all the time he’d spent dreaming about Jensen. Jensen had been wondering about him too. For a second Jared’s ready to jump from the chair, forgive Jensen and pounce on him, but he remembers there’s something else that needs explaining. “What about Sophia?” He tries to keep the hurt out of his voice, but it’s hard to hide that much emotion. “You love her?”

Surprise sets on Jensen’s freckled face. “I, uh—” He trails off, then clears his throat and starts again. “That’s not what you think.”

Jared stands his ground, not wanting to just give in. “What is it then?”

Jensen shifts nervously on the bed. “She’s helping me out. She’s my friend—a good friend.”

Jared’s curious, especially with the way Jensen is skirting around whatever he’s trying to tell him. “What do you mean she’s helping you out?”

Jensen sighs and scrubs a hand over his face. “Have you ever met any of my lacrosse teammates?”

Jared has to think for a minute, but then he remembers Bill and his offensive comments. Jared’s breath hitches. “Oh.”

Jensen tenses further. “Yeah, _oh_. I’m here on scholarship. If I don’t play I can’t afford to stay here. At the end of last year, the team-- especially the captain, Bill—started getting on my case about never dating, then it turned into the question of _why_ they never saw me with girls.”

Jared’s fists clench, remembering how Bill had spewed hateful garbage like he was talking about the weather.

Jensen is twisted up with tension trying to explain the situation. “Bill really starting railing on me, he was trying to get me thrown off the team. He started making comments about my playing. He’d reschedule practices and not tell me, so it looked like I was blowing them off. The coach really started to take notice when I showed up for a game a half hour late. Bill hadn’t told me where the team bus was meeting and I'd had to drag Mikey from class to drive me. I was lucky not to be put on probation right then.” He drew in a deep breath.

Jared can only imagine how hard this is for Jensen to talk about, so he looks at Jensen understandingly, encouraging him to continue.

“I never thought there could be anything that would make me hide who I was, or anything that could make me think of quitting lacrosse, but Bill and some of the other guys wouldn’t let up. It got to the point where I was practically standing outside the coach’s office ready to quit, but then Sophia had an idea.”

Jared cringes, thinking what these guys must have done to get Jensen to consider quitting. He loves lacrosse. Jared remembers the way his eyes would light up when he talks about playing. It kills him to think these assholes had messed with that.

Jensen continues explaining, slightly more relaxed than when he started. “Sophia’s been my friend since my first week here as a freshmen. She knew what was going on and she suggested us ‘dating.’ She figured if they saw us together, if they didn’t have a reason to mess with me, they’d stop—and it did.” Jensen’s shoulders slumped. “I know it’s wrong, lying, making her give up a chance to date someone for real, hiding who I am, but I just couldn’t give up the game.”

Jared lets it all settle in and feels stupid. He jumped to conclusions time and time again and all this time Jensen’s been suffering worse. These assholes have been making his life hell and he’s been pretending to be something he’s not. “I’m sorry. I should have—”

Jensen cuts him off. “You didn’t know.”

Jared shakes his head. “I just made it worse for you, though.”

Jensen’s head pops up. “No, you made me realize what I’d been missing. From the moment I met you _again_ , I started to fall for you. It just reminded me what I should have and what those idiots were taking from me. Everyone could see it, Mike, Tom, Sophia—they all were just waiting for me to break. They just had no idea, though, that you were the kid I used to talk about all the time.” He stops, thinks for a second. “Did they?”

Jared shakes his head emphatically. “No, I didn’t tell any of them. Chad’s the only one who knew, and he wouldn’t have said anything.”

Jensen leans back against the wall, looking to Jared for answers now. “Why didn’t _you_ say anything?”

Jared flushes in embarrassment. “I was mad that you didn’t recognize me. I was mad about what happened four years ago. I was mad you had a _girlfriend_ and was happy with her. But then we started spending all this time together and I couldn’t help falling for you all over again.” The pink in his cheeks turns to a rosy red as he confesses how he feels for Jensen.

A grin flits across Jensen’s face. “Do you know how dumb we both are? We created this whole mess because neither of us talked to each other.”

Jared can’t help but grin back. “So why don’t we make a pact, no more hiding what we think or feel. We just tell each other what we're feeling straight up.”

“I can handle that.” A leer passes through Jensen eyes quickly before it disappears. “What I’m feeling right now is that it’s been _way_ too long since I last kissed you.”

Desire boils up inside Jared and he is up and swinging a leg over the back of the chair to get to Jensen. “I think that can be arranged.”

The first kiss is soft, hesitant, just a tender brush of lips. Gently, Jensen slips his tongue into Jared’s mouth. It brings back a rush of sensation for them both and then they’re falling into a tangle of limbs on the bed, trying to touch as much as possible.

Jared leans back to study Jensen’s face, sweeping a finger over a cluster of freckles. “I’ve been dreaming of this moment for four years.”

Jensen's eyes slide shut, savoring Jared's warm touch. “Me too. I never thought I’d feel like this with anyone again.”

Jared tightens one of his arms around Jensen’s back, pressing their bodies together. “I’m never letting you go again.”

“Me neither.”

Their lips meet and Jensen’s tongue slides easily into his mouth like they haven’t been apart for years. He delights in the solidness of Jensen below him, the feeling of Jensen's dick pressing through layers of denim to his own cock, and the feather-light flutterings of Jensen's tongue against his.

Jared pulls back to yank Jensen’s shirt over his head and then pulls his own off tossing them both to the floor.

Jensen sweeps his hands over Jared’s broad shoulders and strong chest. “You really did grow up.”

Jared’s eyes slip shut as Jensen flicks a nail over one of his nipples and then surges up to take it in his mouth. Jared groans and a wicked smirk crosses his face, “Wait until you see the rest of me.”

He settles further down on the bed between Jensen’s thighs and begins kissing a trail down Jensen’s chest. He sucks at the hollow of Jensen’s throat, leaving a bright pink mark; he licks over a cluster of freckles above his left nipple and then worries his teeth over the hardened nub.

When he reaches Jensen’s belt buckle he lifts his eyes to meet Jensen’s filled with sparkling desire. With a flick of the wrist the buckle is undone and he’s working on the button fly. Jensen’s thrusting his hips up in anticipation of Jared’s big, warm hands on his dick.

They struggle in the small twin bed, wrestling the rest of their clothes off, until they both are completely naked. Their eyes drink each other in, and while Jared thinks that Jensen hasn’t changed a bit, Jensen barely recognizes the body he once knew so well. When his gaze stutters on Jared’s cock, he gasps. “You weren’t lying when you said the rest of you grew too.”

Jared’s eyes twinkle and he ruts his cock in the divot of Jensen’s hip. “Wait until you see what I can do with it.”

Jensen pushes out his plump bottom lip in a mock pout. “I don’t wanna wait.”

Jared chuckles and nips at that pouty lip, then whispers gruffly. “I don’t think you need to worry about that.” He swoops back down to where he was before and hovers over Jensen’s cock, flush and laying heavy with blood against his belly. He teases his tongue along the slit, lapping up the first bead of pre-come, and then mouths around the head, curving his tongue around the ridge.

Jensen cries out in pleasure and laces his fingers through Jared’s long locks, urging him on. Jared swallows him down, working his throat to take as much of him as he can. On the upstroke he tongues the underside and makes Jensen keen.

Jensen’s fingers tighten in Jared’s hair. He’s trying not to thrust his hips, but with every sweep of Jared’s tongue his hips are rolling up.

Jared releases him with a wet pop, a bit of spit slick on his swollen mouth. “Do it, fuck my mouth.”

Jensen groans when Jared swallows him down again and the dam breaks and he can’t stop. He thrusts up into the warm wet of Jared’s mouth. Jared gives his balls a firm squeeze and it feels like electric currents start coursing down his spine. When he feels Jared’s spit-covered finger push into him from behind, the current shoots down his spine and out his dick as he comes down Jared’s throat.

Jared swallows and pulls off, getting Jensen’s last splatter across his chin. He licks his lips and leans up to kiss Jensen.

Jensen’s panting hard, but he reaches for his nightstand, pulling out the tube of lube and pressing it into Jared’s hand. “Fuck me, baby.”

Jared’s delirious with lust and he’s fumbling back onto his heels and squeezing the lube all at once. He slicks his fingers and lightly teases around the edge of Jensen’s tight opening. He pushes his middle finger in to the first knuckle and watches as the pink skin quivers around him. He twists and pushes until he’s got one finger in.

Jensen is snug around his finger as he works to stretch in a second. He’s twisting his fingers inside Jensen, teasing his prostate until Jensen’s begging. “Please, Jared, baby, fuck me.”

Jared fumbles for his wallet in his discarded jeans until he triumphantly pulls out a condom. He rolls it on with one hand and then strokes his length with his lube-coated hand.

He scoots forward; nudging his cock to Jensen’s cleft. He tosses his bangs out of his eyes and leans forward to gently brush his lips to Jensen’s. “Love you.”

Jensen’s eyes lazily slide closed, Jared can feel the smile on Jensen’s lips against his own. “Love you too.”

Jared presses forward, encasing himself inside Jensen’s body. He rolls his hips, slowly building up friction and pressure. He can’t stop watching the parade of emotions marching across Jensen’s face and can only imagine that his own matches. He thrusts hard twisting his hips to hit the right spot.

Jensen’s half hard again and Jared circles his cock with his fist stroking in time with his thrusts. They both are panting heavily; grunting with feelings that overwhelm them. Jared’s balls are tingling and he can feel them tightening. He picks up his pace, snapping his hips and flicking his wrist.

He feels like a freight train tears through him as he comes brutally. He releases Jensen’s cock to steady himself, his head bowed as he catches his breath, before removing the condom and tossing it into the garbage at the side of Jensen’s bed. His elbows are shaking and his knees are twitching, but he’s never felt better.

Jensen picks up where Jared left off, stroking his own cock until he’s spurting over his own fist and across Jared’s stomach. When Jensen’s cock gives one last half-hearted jerk, Jared lowers himself down, slipping to Jensen’s side and curling around him. “Never thought I’d get to do that again.”

Jensen wipes sweat from Jared’s brow as he pillows his face on Jensen’s chest. “You’ll get to do it whenever you want from now on.”

They’re both sweaty and there’s come drying on both their stomachs, but they coil around each other, holding on, knowing they won’t be letting go anytime soon.

***

When Jared blinks awake, he doesn’t recognize where he is. The window is on the wrong side of the room and there are limbs tangled up with his. A soft smile caresses his lips as he remembers the night before. He tightens his arms around Jensen’s torso and snuggles in closer.

Jensen groans and opens his eyes. “Don’t want to get up yet.”

Jared sighs contently. “Me neither, but I have class today and so do you.” He rolls over in the small bed and almost falls out. “I’m gonna take a shower.”

Jensen stretches, arching his back and settling back onto the pillows, watching Jared pull on his boxers.

Before Jared walks into Jensen’s bathroom he looks back over his shoulder. “You gonna join me?”

A grin breaks out on Jensen’s face and he hops from the bed to go after Jared.

***

When they’re both dressed and presentable they come into the living room and are startled to find all their friends sitting together, waiting.

They all have knowing smirks on their faces and are waiting for one of them to say something. Chad, being ever impatient and having zero tact, blurts out, “You two okay now?”

They both blush and Jared nods. “Yeah, we worked everything out.”

Sophia stands a pleased smile on her face. “It’s about time.”

The group laughs. Mike steps in between them and throws an arm over each of their shoulders, “Come on, we’re taking you two to breakfast. We want to hear the whole story.”

They all walk through campus, the sun shining and a soft breeze blowing through. Jared slips his hand into Jensen’s as they walk and Jensen squeezes their fingers together as people begin to notice them together.

As they get closer to the dining hall, Jensen hesitates when he sees Bill and a few other members of the lacrosse team walking toward them. Jared tries to let go of Jensen’s hand, but Jensen won’t let him.

He squeezes Jared’s hand tighter. “It’s time I stop hiding and let everyone know I’ve got the greatest boyfriend ever.” In clear view of all their friends, of Bill, the lacrosse team and anyone else; he leans up and kisses Jared, proud of who he is, of who Jared is and not afraid anymore to show the world.

When they break apart they can barely tear their eyes away from each other and their friends are whistling and cat calling.

Sophia claps her hands giddily, “Now that’s what I’m talking about.”

When the group passes Bill and his cronies, Jensen meets his gaze with his head held high. Jared stares Bill down until his gaze shifts down and away and he slithers off like the snake he is.

With their fingers still entwined Jared and Jensen lead their friends into the dining hall smiles on their faces, laughter at their ears and any thought of Bill left behind and forgotten.

 

_Rifinito_

 

 

**Author's Note:**

>  **Artist Credit:** [](http://causette.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://causette.livejournal.com/)**causette**  
>  I want to thank first and foremost [](http://lapdogdesign.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://lapdogdesign.livejournal.com/)**lapdogdesign** without her I don’t think this fic would have ever been posted. She’s encouraged me from the first moment I mentioned this fic to her and has given me awesome suggestions along the way. She single handedly beta’d roughly 26,000 words without ever complaining. I really can’t thank her enough for all the work she put into this fic. If I could produce bespectacled Jensen for her I would :D Thank you so very much El!


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